PTSD anyone?

Avatar for fhawn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
PTSD anyone?
11
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:28am

Caution this may trigger:

This is hard to admit but this is part of who I am.
I am a survivor of childhood abuse, a survivor of a violent crime and I had a parent who committed suicide. I work in a violent and stressful field…I’ve been through prison riots , hostage situations, fights, fires, floods , and suicides.

I’ve been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I also have dissociative amnesia. ( I have blank memories …like holes in the memories around the childhood abuse and the violent crime)

I feel like I am the queen of anxiety (laughing at myself)

I’m being treated for PTSD and my night terrors (I wake up sitting straight up in bed screaming and terrified twice a week. I wake up with little or no memory of the dream itself) I think I’m finally getting the treatment/ help that I need. I’m working hard to get past all this.

Had a rough night last night. My family was watching a rented movie last night. I had to get up and walk away several times during scenes that had violence and screaming. I went to bed and had very broken sleep. I jumped and startle easily when my hubby moves in bed then I also had several night terrors in one night. I did have one brief flash (memory) of the dream that was repulsive to me.

The problem I’m having with this is…..If I don’t remember parts of my abuse and crime how do I know if my dreams are memories of the crime/abuse coming back or if they are just bad dreams?

Anyone else out there that can relate?
I’m feeling kind of alone in this….

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: fhawn
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 2:12pm

Kim, my therapist & I have talked about just what you posted so many times.

Sheri Ann

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