help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
help.
8
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 9:35am

Hi everyone,

It's starting again. The panic over friends. I thought for a few days there, I was feeling better. My mind is ruminating and I am feeling so paranoid that these people don' t like me, or they think I am annoying. I definatly have bigger problems to worry about in my life. My husband's business is not doing well, and our money situation is suffering from it.

I don't know why my mind diverts to such nonsense. I try to put it out of my mind, and it just loops back in. I am so lonley, and so scared I am going to be alone. I shouldn't be scared, because I am alone all the time and I am surviving. If anyone came to me with this, I feel I would be able to talk to them rationally, and give good advice. But since it's me, I can't even get myself out of it. The reality of the situation is not present in my brain. UGGGGGGGGGGGG.

I have a birthday party to go to this morning, and I am so nervous because all the girls from my son's preschool are going to be there. It's like I am 12 again, and they are the "popular" group, and I am on the outside looking in, wishing I was a part of it. I think they don't like me or my kids. I can't stand myself. This sucks!!

Thanks for listening.

Love, JD

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 11:42am

hi JD, i don't have any great advice, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone...i know all too well how you feel...i find that with myself, i often rumminate over stupid things when there is something real and more painful that i just can't deal with...for example, i am having horrible pregnancy problems, but they are too painful to deal with so i "fixate" on my anxiety to distract myself from this...do you think that rumminating over the friends thing could be because dealing with your "real" problems like a struggling $$ situation and being and feeling alone are too painful? just a thought....i hate the feeling of being alone too btw...


hang in there


heather

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 2:42pm

I think you are right, and I do not deny that that is what I am doing. I just wish it would stop. I am really beginning to hate myself. I just got back from the birthday party, and I am so upset.

Thanks for the reply. I know you have a lot on your plate, as well. Thanks for taking time to respond.

Lots of love, JD

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 2:51pm
I am sorry that you didn't have a good time, Jolie): I am not sure why you have this overwheming negative thinking. You have had it for along time. Maybe you should try accepting these thoughts as part of you that won't change. Somehow learn to live your life around them. When you can let go & not allow these thoughts to have power over you, maybe they will leave by themselves. I wish you felt better. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:27pm

Hi Jolie, I don't know what I can say that I haven't said before.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:55pm

I know this is going to sound ridiculous, however, I feel like I am just venting. This is a great place for me to come to let my feelings out. I know there is nothing that can be said, but it is just knowing that there are people out there who understand where I am coming from.

It is so hard to read the responses sometimes, because I am not sure what the tone is. It seems like you are starting to get annoyed with my posts, and I hope that is not the case. I know I say the same thing over and over again, but that is what this message board is for, right? A place for me to share my experiences and my own issues. Now I feel like my "cyber" friends don't want to hear my stuff. RIDICULOUS. I know. I know a lot of this is my anxiety talking, somewhat.

I am very honest with my therapist, and we are trying the effexor with the paxil. Just so you know, I save all your posts, and read them over and over for strength.

Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:56pm
I am not quite sure how to live with them. I am trying, Jan. I promise. It is so hard for me, and I know it must be frustrating for you to keep reading the same things over and over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:14pm

(((Jolie))) I am not tired of listening to you at all!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 2:19pm
How are you feeling?