I'm scared... Can I have a hug?
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I'm scared... Can I have a hug?
| Tue, 07-11-2006 - 6:31pm |
Hi girls,
So sorry I have been such a stranger, I have been dealing with issues both medical and personal, and didn't feel I could help anyone much.
I am pretty scared today, and my anxiety is back along with those stupid 'feelings of unreality' that I hadn't had for some time, and I don't know what to do.
I don't get much sleep, and have gained so much weight I can't stand myself, my dh has been great with me not working for almost 3 years, but I know he is getting fed up with me. We will be married 10 years in November, if we make it that is!
I have had medical problems all Spring and Summer, which they keep saying was pluerisy, or allergies, asthma, the list goes on...I kept showing the doctors this swollen area under my left breast, and they say it's 'probably just fat' ok.....Well, it isn't getting better, and I have had clear discharge (Which I do get occasionally, and have since a teen-A doctor once told me this is normal is some women???) from my left breast, and now today, there is a area that is all red. I am so scared girls, and have been having a 'feel sorry for myself' couple of days lately. Sometimes it feels as tho my medical problems will never end. I have had kidney and bladder problems, and undiagnosed abdominal pain all my life. (I'm not a hypochonriac, Really I'm not-altho I don't think my dh believes me!) Lol!
Anyways, I am trying to get into a new LADY doctor to see me, I hope it is this week. This just feels creepy and it is kinda spasming too, so of course I am thinking heart problems and breast cancer. I seem to be worrying about death and dying, it scares me so much, I think this comes from me being ill as a child, and one time my mom told me if I didn't have this one surgery I would die...I just am having a hard time, and knew I could come to my family here to vent, and cry a little. Thanks for listening girls, I just needed a shoulder to cry on, and I know what SPIRIT LIFTERS you all are! :0)
I feel so selfish for laying this on you. Please forgive me.
And let me know HOW YOU ARE DOING,K???
I hope you all are well, And that you are healthy, and having HAPPY DAYS!
I will keep you posted and please let me know how you are doing too!
Hugs! shasta
So sorry I have been such a stranger, I have been dealing with issues both medical and personal, and didn't feel I could help anyone much.
I am pretty scared today, and my anxiety is back along with those stupid 'feelings of unreality' that I hadn't had for some time, and I don't know what to do.
I don't get much sleep, and have gained so much weight I can't stand myself, my dh has been great with me not working for almost 3 years, but I know he is getting fed up with me. We will be married 10 years in November, if we make it that is!
I have had medical problems all Spring and Summer, which they keep saying was pluerisy, or allergies, asthma, the list goes on...I kept showing the doctors this swollen area under my left breast, and they say it's 'probably just fat' ok.....Well, it isn't getting better, and I have had clear discharge (Which I do get occasionally, and have since a teen-A doctor once told me this is normal is some women???) from my left breast, and now today, there is a area that is all red. I am so scared girls, and have been having a 'feel sorry for myself' couple of days lately. Sometimes it feels as tho my medical problems will never end. I have had kidney and bladder problems, and undiagnosed abdominal pain all my life. (I'm not a hypochonriac, Really I'm not-altho I don't think my dh believes me!) Lol!
Anyways, I am trying to get into a new LADY doctor to see me, I hope it is this week. This just feels creepy and it is kinda spasming too, so of course I am thinking heart problems and breast cancer. I seem to be worrying about death and dying, it scares me so much, I think this comes from me being ill as a child, and one time my mom told me if I didn't have this one surgery I would die...I just am having a hard time, and knew I could come to my family here to vent, and cry a little. Thanks for listening girls, I just needed a shoulder to cry on, and I know what SPIRIT LIFTERS you all are! :0)
I feel so selfish for laying this on you. Please forgive me.
And let me know HOW YOU ARE DOING,K???
I hope you all are well, And that you are healthy, and having HAPPY DAYS!
I will keep you posted and please let me know how you are doing too!
Hugs! shasta

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Hi Shasta, im new here, im 32 and am having the worst year of my life from panic, anxiety and now depression. I posted for the first time yesterday.
Im SO sorry you are having a rough period. thats alot of things to be dealing with! I pray your dh will be able to help you and assure you he's here for the long haul! You're not being selfish at all! I pray your med issues will begin to clear and heal! I know its frightening to deal with these types of things regularly! especially with anxiety and panic.
I wanted to let you know..that you just gave comfort to ME! by saying you are having feelings of unreality. that is my BIGGEST anxiety right now. nothing feels real. I have scared myself so badly with it. its very new to me and ive felt extremely alone with that feeling. Hang in there!!!
Here's a "big squeezy hug" for you Shasta!
Anxiety and pain is not a fun combination... I can really relate to the chronic pain, coupled with new symptoms and getting freaked out! I've had so many test this last year and a half, I was starting to feel like a pin cushion. It doesn't help when you have other problems besides the physical cause they seem to feed off each other to no end.
I too have had bouts of extreme fear of dying. I'm not sure where this comes from in me personally, and only got over that fear through a very strange experience that I will be talking to my counselor about to figure out -- I can't explain it, kinda supernatural/spiritual, but I'm sure they'll tell me it was just a hallucination or something! LOL
Anyway, hang in there. When I wasn't confident in my doctor's prognosis the last few months regarding some of my problems I talked to a nurse through my insurance company, and she advised me to get a second opinion - or a third even if I felt it was necessary, so don't feel bad about changing docs, or anything. Keep on telling someone till either you are convinced that it's OK now, or you find a doctor who is willing to really work with you to figure it all out.
I understand about the hypochondriac problem too... I have so worried about that for the last year. Nothing was seeming to get better. Eventually we (myself, my pdoc, an ENT and a physiatrist) figured some stuff out that has helped, and now we added an anti-anxiety med, and we are adding a psychologist to the "team". LOL It has really helped a lot though. I still have abdominal pain, but I think that's how my body reminds me of my stress - we've certainly tested everything else!
It's important to find a doctor who you feel comfortable with too, I fortunately found one after moving across the country -- they do exist! She's a lady, too. (o:
Good luck Shasta, hang in there!
Sending love & hugs,
~*~ Tangeloper ~*~
That is what you are supposed to do!! I hope you get into see a doctor this
week! The breast thing sounds very scary! Where is the stomach pain??
I have had undiagnosed until 10 years ago Celiac Disease basically allergic
to grains the GLUTEN in them------ hurts in my upper belly!
I too am too fat from the FAT PAXIL!! and chocolate hee hee
Please come here to cry, scream or laugh!!! WE LOVE YOU!!
You are depressed and I hope getting outside in the sunlight and enjoying
the outdoors????? this helps me! I am grumpy and miserable myself right now
I don't know how my hubby stands it I am married for 35 years now woooo hooo!!!
So looks like he LOVES ME!! and your hubby does too love you!!
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND STEP BACK and think of some GOOD THINGS YOU DO!!
MAKE A LIST AND LOOK AT IT!!! CHERISH YOURSELF!! LOVE! Judy
Oh My Dear friend Shasta,
SOME BIG BIG BIG HUGS YOUR WAY!!!!!
You would think by now Silly that what this board is for and as far as sharing any and everythings as you know what we share helps some other person not to feel alone. We are not made of steel and my self think I am made of rubber, but anyway,Gf Things happen and if you can't share with the people you trust then who??? You know stress causes alot of smptoms,phyical is one of them as you know and it is real, if you feel it then your feelings are real,You are you and friends care about friends unconditionally no matter what issues they have, look at me... well I am a walking text book selfhelp research in the making for a book "What Is Normal and do we want to be normal". and I am still somewhat here. I am sorry you are going through any stress..you and so many other don't deserve it. You are a great person and have a love of poeple that is beyond words, so pull from that and know from everytime you share you help someone it has helped me.. I used to think just look at Shasta she is so stress free and has it all together how can I compare to her? Can such a together person know how I would feel being stressed out. So now I know you too have issues you deal with thank you for sharing. TTY GF
BIG HUGS for you and you can have as many hugs anytime you need them.
Oh and fat oh!!! no not fat just stress pockets, which with the wednesdays workouts thanks to you, and the boards hey we will just unload our pockets, pocket by pocket.
I can't tell you how much your kind words have meant to me tonite (even tho they made me cry -hee hee!)
I appreciate each and everyone of you.
This REALLY IS MY 2nd family.
I promise to pay each of you back! <3
I get to go to a new lady doctor tomorrow, so I will let you know what happens.
And I want to hear all that is going on with you too.
I really appreciate each of you, some who I just met today thru this post, and some old friends too, like Judy & Lynn...Remind me to spank all you guys for making me cry! hee hee!...
I guess we all need a little help sometimes....
And it's ok to reach out and ask for help, I know it was hard for me too...And it's hard to remember sometimes, to ask! ;)
I thank you again so much, you gals really helped me so much today.
It is such a comfort to know I have a place to come to, where people can relate and have compassion. You don't find a 'home' like this very often in life, even if it is a 'cyber home' :0)
I hope you guys have a WONDERFUL and PEACEFUL day tomorrow!
Can't wait to catch up with you all!
Love Always, shasta
P.S. All your wonderful HUGS! will get me through! THANK U!
P.P.S. And girls we will talk soon and I promise to be there again for everyone here!
hi shasta, you sound just like me in regards to the anxiety:) LOL.
Hi Shasta, sorry I'm late in posting, I'm having major computer problems :( Remember those ?! lol.
Sheri Ann
Hey Heather!
Thanx for your support, it is selfish of me, but it is kinda a relief to know others have that darn 'unreal feeling' I just have to shake myself out of it, and try to keep busy....
I've been off work for almost 3 years! I left the credit union I worked at for 13 years due to immense stress which snowballed into a major panic attack, which left me leaving the office in an ambulance. I never went back. Sometimes I wonder if I would have quit that job years ago, if I would have ended up like this, but I guess you can't turn back time, right? lol
What do I do to keep busy? Well, I work on my hubby's bookkeeping, accounts payable & accounting for his business part time, I've been 'trying' to sale on feebay, lol, and I take care of our house, groceries, you know, all the homey stuff!
One funny thing, last time I went to urgent care, the receptionist that checked me in asked if I was working, and I said I'm a homemaker, and so she goes 'OK, Unemployed'...Ticked me off!!! Maybe I am just too sensitive! Ok, I know I am too sensitive! ha ha!
What have you been doing to keep busy? I know you have a little one, and one on the way?
Well, I better post a few more, then I am taking a nap!
Way too much excitement this week!
Talk to you soon, and have a peaceful day!
shasta
Rob was great yesterday tho!
Thanx so much for your support!
shasta
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