icky feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
icky feelings
48
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 10:33am
does anyone else experience this? I have feelings of "unreality" where nothing quite feels solid or real.. and then, when looking at people i KNOW AND LOVE... all of a sudden.. its like im looking at a familiar stranger, but i know them! its scaring me. its been happening with my boyfriend, and im trying to tell myself.. this is the man you love. we have been together for two years. you KNOW him . quit being scared. yesterday, the same thing happened with my MOM.. I know who they are, I know who i am, but it feels very insecure. the same thing happened on july 4th with my brother as well. i really was looking at him and was thinking to myself.. man, hes gotten older! he has gray hair! and then that feeling hit me.. am i just losing it? it makes me panic.. feeling like i need to hide away because no one feels close right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 5:59pm

I've had this happen many times.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 9:14pm
Thanks for writing. I actually ended up going into an attack shortly after writing my post. Go figure. Man, I was scared. I felt so messed up. I feel better right now, but not 100%. I feel like it is hiding now but earlier I was really thinking something was way wrong in my head. It scared me big time. I had slight feelings like this before but never that strong and never freaked that bad. Has it scared you really bad before? I was thinking I needed to go be checked in somewhere!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 9:45pm
I have been so scared that I called an ambulance. I thought every fiber of my being was being swallowed up into nothingness. Things felt that unreal. I just knew that I needed medical help but when I got to the hospital, I couldn't describe what I had felt & my tests were all ok. I have learned to remind myself that I won't be harmed by the feeling. I belly breathe & focus on the here & now. I slowly & deliberately go about my regular activities, breathing & attempting to shake the scary thoughts. With practice it works for me. I still get scared when it hits, but I can reassure myself easier. I do call a gf or somethimes my mom. They know about the anxiety & try to be helpful. I wish I could say that I was able to tough it out on my own, but I can't. I forgive myself though:) GL, Kim! (((hugs))) jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 9:46am
Hi Kim :) Boy oh boy do I know what you're Feeling! Last July when I wrote this post.. it was AWFUL! I thought for sure I was leaving all reality! I have panic disorder. These feelings that you and I and most the women here have been through are derealization/disassociation, and depersonalization. I've learned a GREAT deal since July on these two side effects. Last July, I did run myself to a pyschiatrist. I was so worried. I would like to remind you they are JUST side effects from your body being so wound up. Also, they do go away. it took a few weeks for me.. but as my medication kicked in more, and i was learning how to calm myself down, they did slowly go away. I still have "pings" of derealization, where i feel "off".. but im also learning to accept the feelings.. they way my dr explained it to me is this.. even people without anxiety disorders have these feelings.. its just once you have an attack of some sort of anxiety, you are super sensitive and we freak out on all "strange" feelings.. when really... they're quite normal. :) I remember once when I was 16.. stayed up ALL night with a friend... the next day I was in a haze..I felt like i was dreaming.. back then.. i thought it was funny and knew it was because I was tired. NOW? I probably would have worked myself into a panic thinking something was wrong with my brain! :) Im going to do an update post for all to read also, so much has changed for me since July. Im hear if you need to chat :) Ingridmcclain@hotmail.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 3:08pm

Thanks so much for writing. Yes, that feeling like you are not really you and you are not really here is very scary. For me, I have had passing thoughts before where I'd like look at my husband or dog or something and think are they really real? Or like are we all really here and are we for real and is this what life is all about? And back when that first happened it was weird, but I did not totally freak. I got bothered by it and talked to someone and they thought it was actually interesting and said they had thought that way before and felt it was just me being inquisitive and thinking too much.

Then I started doing it again last week a little more obsessively. Like I would not leave it alone. I kept analyzing it. I should have known that would have led to more problems (knowing would not have stopped it of course though). Then I turned it inward and started thinking that the feelings of thinking others were not real was no biggie but then maybe I was not really me and that really set me off big time. I ended up overthinking it to death yesterday and really paid the price. I felt so messed up. I was thinking I was certainly developing some terrible brain disorder and that I was doomed. I was jealous of everyone around me that could carry on and act normal and deal with normal life. And here I was feeling totally removed and like paralyzed mentally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 3:32pm
Thanks so much for writing. Man I feel so bad. I SO want this to pass. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me. That does help to know I am not alone. Amazing how this type of feeling can make you feel so isolated even when you are right next to someone you love like your husband. I have had anxiety probs for a couple years now. I usually always find something to dwell and ruminate on and then freak about it. This particular thing is soooo scary. Usually I get freaked about something like having cancer (no reason to believe that I do of course) or that I do not love my husband, or something stupid like that. But this....wow, this is scary. Good point about what you said about staying up all night when you were 16. Funny how our perception of things changes so much. This type of thing would have probably not bothered me as a kid. I may have even thought it was cool or something :) But nowadays it is like anything weird or different scares the heck out of me! I worry myself sick over it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 8:02pm

Kml,

i have bad anxiety as well and when i read your post, i realized im not the only one feeling this!...it was a big releif. i totally know what your talking about..i was out to dinner w/my family and felt the same feelings...like it wassnt real or like i was going crazy or something...does that sound familiar?...its scary, isnt it?

i dont really talk about my feelings w/my boyfriend because i dont think i could even describe what i feel???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 11:39pm

(((Spingirl))) I know these thoughts are very real to us. But, you will NOT go crazy. I had my first PA when I was 17 & now I am 54. This feeling has been the hardest to cope with & it IS so difficult to explain. You will NOT be harmed by it. It takes 11 positive thoughts to overcome one negative thought. Try to focus on positives. Write a list & read it. Read Bible passages if you find some peaceful ones that help you. Listen to relaxation tapes/CD's. Learn to meditate or belly breathe. You CAN get through this.


We care & are so glad you posted. Drop into chats if you can. I'll post tomorrow evenings chat after midnight. Good luck & GBU! You are very welcome here. jan


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 7:47am

I totally know how that feels and it's really scary. It questions everything you know and trust about EVERYTHING. Anything is scary when it doesn't feel normal, or what you're used to. I don't have it much anymore, but I'm on medication. Alot of good advice I've gotten from this board is to make sure that you are eating, drinking and getting enough rest and exercise. That helps me in ALL my anxiety and stress. '

HTH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 9:48am

YES! Very scary. Especially when it is about yourself or people you are close to. That makes you feel like you are really losing it for sure. It is very disabling mentally. So scary...At least we can take comfort in knowing we are not alone.

Kim