I did it!
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| Fri, 07-14-2006 - 10:20am |
well, I went to another couples house for dinner with my bf last night! I had a really hard time at first. every thought possible kept coming to me. I couldnt concentrate that well, so i might have jumped topics a few times.. lol. :) but i did it with a smile. i had a few moments where i know my anxiety was working up to potential, but i just kept trying. i didnt take any xanax, even though i was pretty close. they were all drinking wine, which for SOME odd reason gave me anxiety, i think i felt like if they all loosen up, who will take care of me if i get out of control? BUT I pushed it back, thats selfish and i was safe.\. i made it through dinner, which was good. then we all sat down to watch a movie, and i got to rest against my bf. for that time forward, it was OK. not alot of anxiety. if it wasnt a week night, i would have been fine to stay awhile longer YAY!
Today feels good :) i feel like i can take a breath.
ps. my older brother opened up to me this morning and said he has anxiety and panic too.. and derealization! that brought a little more relief knowing that someone close to me experiences this! I told him there are support groups like how i found you! I told him dont be all manly and think you have to keep it quiet. i said we can help eachother:)

Hi there!
Read your post and I can totally relate. Only I would have HAD to have taken a xanax before I went. It seems like you pulled it off and Im sure no one even noticed if you were jumping around topics. Especially if they were drinking. I was married to an alcoholic and I always had that feeling if he was too drunk who would care for me if somethng happened. It seems your friends were just doing some social drinking and you were safe and every thing was ok. Good for you that you pushed your self to go and dont feel selfish about your thoughts. Your feelings are real and deserve to be recognized.
Wow, your brother opened up to you....That too hit a spot with me because I KNOW my brother has issues but he self medicates with alcohol. My sister and I admit our anxiety and are in treatment. Sometimes when he is really buzzed he will admit some anxious feelings but he then gets manly and back peddles. You now have a support system! How wonderful for both of you.
Have a good day and you should be very proud of yourself for going and making it completely through last night! Very positive.
Donna
WTG! I am glad to hear that you did so well. Even if you had taken the xanax, it wouldn't have been a failure on your part. Sometimes we need a little help. I hope you are able to go out more often & begin feeling more comfortable. That was an awesome first step!
My father, aunt & a cousin suffer from panic attacks. Unfortunately, they rarely speak of their's & have never sought treatment. They live very limited lives. I am glad your db opened up to share. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan
Yay!!
Sheri Ann