a little girl talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
a little girl talk
4
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 2:35pm

Ok ladies... heres the girl talk....

me and my bf havent been intimate since i've been having the severe attacks (we live together). so about 3 weeks. I know its not that long. HOWEVER.. i was feeling so many things, having so many doubts and the derealization and depersonalization.. not feeling myself..he was a little alien to me.. yada yada.. that now im a little nervous to be INTIMATE!! I still dont feel like the old me totally. tonight we are having a romantic night for us. my daughter comes home from camp tomorrow, so we wanted to have this time. GULP im almost laughing at myself right now! we've been together almost 2 years....and im acting like a girl on her first adventure!

im feeling alot better yesterday and today.. but my obsessing thoughts where i want to analyze this over and over is driving me a little nuts. hmm..and a few what if's are going on in here too.. your thoughts? I know its a lighter problem.. and certainly not urgent.. but its there nonetheless. anyone have any suggestions, thoughts or like experiences?

I hope your friday is going good!!!! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 3:07pm

I'm kind of in the same position right now. I've had a very low libido for the last 10 months due to bc meds for pain, and other medical problems. My husband and I (together for 16 years) have never really had a problem in this area.

Now, with starting my new meds, and starting counseling again I just haven't felt like being close in that way at all... It's been a few weeks (at least) for us as well, and I feel the same as you -- now thinking about being with him makes me really nervous -- and we've had 4 kids together too! LOL I feel bad because I know my husband is craving the intimacy right now (well at least his hormones are! LOL) and I'm still not feeling like it at all... It feels like I don't want to bother with it, and part of me wishes sex just didn't exist right now, even though I really do enjoy it when I'm feeling OK! (o; I just feel like being held and it kinda gets to me that men are so easily turned "on", if you know what I mean... My husband is still like an 18-year-old in that way -- I guess I should be thanking God for that, cause it would really suck the other way around...

Gosh, I wish I had advice, or suggestions. I would definitely let your boyfriend know how you are feeling (nervous). Perhaps he can take it really slow, pretend it's the first time again? That might actually be nice, and kinda fun, ya know?

Anyway, good luck on your date tonight. I hope you are able to relax and really enjoy each others' company. (o:

~*~Tangeloper~*~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 3:13pm
exactly! I want to be held right now too.. with out the rest.. the rest is frightening a little. well, ill just be honest and take it easy :) its a strange feeling to be a little insecure in that arena all of a sudden.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 6:15pm

I think that it sounds like a perfect night.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 7:20pm
It is very difficult to be intimate when you don't feel well. I hope your bf is understanding with this & gives you some time & space if you need it. Here's the link to what iVillage has to say about arousal & libido health: http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/topics/0,,4vgl,00.html?nlcid=c|502,21926, HTH Good luck! (((hugs))) jan