Anxiety about a friend's health?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Anxiety about a friend's health?
1
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 1:02am

Has this ever happened to anyone? I know I've had a lot of anxiety lately about my own health and what could be wrong...but I have a good friend who is going through some really rough medical problems himself right now. He's kind of the "typical" guy in that he doesn't complain or ask for help unless absolutely necessary...so I didn't realize until a scary incident today how serious it's become.

Sorry to be vague...even though it's kind of anonymous here, he's so private about these things that he hasn't even told most of his friends or his boss. It kills me to see him suffer like this, and to feel that he needs to hide it to the point that it keeps him from getting help sometimes. (He had a bad experience with gossip, etc when he did tell someone before).

Anyway, I don't know if this post even belongs here...since I know my anxiety is not the main issue here. I just don't know what to do or how to help him, and that leaves me feeling pretty helpless and worried. I have offered to help with whatever he needs me to, but that sounds so vague and un-helpful.

It's just that I'm starting rotations on Monday, so I won't have as much free time as I've had lately...he's busy too, though. But I feel like I have to come up with some way to help him through this time...even the idea of sleeping on his couch and staying there to help when I don't have to be at work came to mind.

Because not only would he do the same for me if the situation were different...he has done the same for me before. When I was having ECT and was massively depressed, he accompanied me to my ECT treatments and wheeled me back from them, even though I'm sure he had a lot of work he needed to be doing too. And there are a lot more stories where those came from....we've had a long friendship.

(Sorry, I'm typing this when I'm sleepy, so I'm not sure how relevant it all is). Anyway, I guess the question I have is, has anyone experienced a lot of anxiety and feeling helpless about a friend's problems? How did you deal with it?

I think anxiety might be kind of useful in this case at least because it lets me know I need to do something, take action, to do at least what I can to make the situation better. But I guess there will always still be that horrible feeling of watching your best friend suffer...but maybe I can find some way to make his pain a little less. Any ideas?

Thanks for reading this (somewhat strange) post,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 10:10am
Well, Rose, I can see where you'll have more than enough empathy for others in your medical career. I can tell what a concerned & caring friend you are. It is difficult for us to separate our anxiety for ourselves from that of others. If you can *compartmentalize* I think you'll do ok. Just keep an eye open that you don't become overwhelmed by your friend's problems. Do what you can to help him. I think that's a great way to keep the focus off your own anxieties. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan