Life is too painful.

Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Life is too painful.
7
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 11:14pm

I've been going through it lately. Coming to the realization that I will be 30 years old in 3 days, and I am still suffering with the social anxiety that I'd hoped to "outgrow", has been difficult for me. Therapy has not helped. Medication has not helped... unless you count drugs and alcohol, which help at times.
I don't know what else I can do. I have a wonderful fiance, but I feel like he is all I have. I have a couple of family members that I trust (and I do mean a couple), but they live hundreds if not thousands of miles away. I have been living here 2 years and haven't made a single friend. I feel like the more I isolate myself, the worse it gets. But I don't know what else I can do.
I told myself I would get out more, and just try to have any interactions at all with people. I thought just going for walks or simply walking to the store would help, any kind of human interaction has to be better than nothing. The most I got was beeped at by some horny guys. No one is interested in connecting with other people anymore. I cannot live the rest of my life this way. No I am not considering suicide or anything like that. I just need to know some steps I can take to get out of this darkness. I need something SOLID, something real. I don't need to hear that I am a good and worthy person. I know this. I need to know how I can stop feeling this overwhelming need to escape from other people, when at the same time I want nothing more than a human connection.

cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 10:33am
hi there, it sucks that you are feeling this way...do you work at all? i found working was a good way to meet people...i don't work anymore due to my anxiety and i'm also craving interaction.
Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 10:54am

oh yea, I work full time... no chance for friendships there for a variety of reasons... I've never hung out with anyone after work, and try to keep my issues private. Due to the kind of work I do, it would not be a good idea to let people in on my anxiety issues, or to socialize for that matter.

cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:06pm

(((Cheryl))) I am sorry you are feeling so down. All of us in this community are working to find that balance in our lives. It is difficult to deal with anxiety issues, but for me I had to have some motivation to work towards wellness. I posted in the *coping tips & tricks* folder below, two articles on making friends & easing social jitters. Perhaps you could get some self help books to give you some ideas. Sometimes we have to accept the blessings that we have & see the good in them.


Meds & therapy are known to be the most successful in dealing with anxiety disorders. There are alternative therapies that you might consider. Drugs & alcohol pretty much will defeat any progress one makes. Maybe you would consider therapy again to learn new patterns of behavior. Good luck! jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 5:04pm
Cheryl what have you done to try to meet some people??
Are there any classes you might take to meet some?
How about a book club at the bookstore?
Working full time leaves very little time for meeting people!!
I have been there!! I met most of my friends through my children
and husband. I hope these ideas might help! Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 6:06pm

Cheryl, I am in the same boat, I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given to you..I used to stress about making friends, meeting new people, now I just stay busy on my own, reading, doing crafts, etc...and my dh is it for socializing!

Sheri Ann

Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 8:50pm
Ha ha, I have to laugh because everyone says take a class to meet people! I have done it, and no one spoke to me. Yea I know you have to be outgoing, but it's kind of hard to try to talk to someone when they don't even smile or say hello when you say hi to them. No help there.
I don't know about a book club... its a nice idea but probably not for me.
I have tried going on meetup.com to look for meet up groups, but there hasn't been anything for things I'm interested in. I can't fake being into something I'm not just to meet people. Plus, in all honestly, I feel like a total loser doing stuff like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 10:06pm

Cheryl, were you going to meet some online friends?

Sheri Ann