rough day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
rough day
8
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 12:54pm

I'd really like the over analyzing to stop! There is ONE specific thought, that I know really upsets me. every day I analyze it more and more. I can get my self worked up with it too.. cause a panic attack.. the whole thing. . Im trying to use new techniques, like in the panic away book.. but then i think.. how will i ever think normally again? how will this disturbing thought just go away? this thought just keeps running and running.. I keep telling myself.. ok.. you've thought that for the last two weeks.. theres nothing new to think about on that thought, Im still here and healthy and living,, nothing has changed.. so let it go!

i get to the point im overanalyzing my own existence, and everyone around me. it starts to make me feel depersonalized again. any suggestions to help?

rough day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 7:14pm

I see in the Panic Away material that you suggested, it has an exercise to practice when these thoughts become overwhelming. Have you tried it? Does it work?


I have intrusive thoughts as well. I allow myself no more than 30 minutes to ruminate, then move on. I keep physically busy as well as divert my mind with tasks such as math problems(balancing my checkbook) or reciting poetry from memory, etc. Hope you're feeling better. (((hugs))) jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 8:40pm

How about if you write the thoughts down on a piece of paper and then toss them in the trash, or burn them??

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 10:27am

I did try the technique in the panic away material, the same as that in the website i posted. its really hard to get used to allowing the thought to go ahead and come on in. Im so used to panicing over it, and reacting emotionally to push it away... but I tried last night. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to remind myself that it is not worth much time on. I gave my self a few minutes to really really think about the thought.. which I HATE THAT THOUGHT, but , I accepted it, and decided, nothing can hurt me. I know wht I believe in, and if that thought is there.. ok.. then I did a visualization of the thought as the Tazmanian devil, just there to annoy me. LOL it worked. I DO feel better about it. it crept up every once in a while, but not bad. these new techniques are going to take practice.

Thank you ladies for the suggestions! :) I did write them down as well. which made me see that the thoughts were like some weird science fiction novel, but could tell they stem from the derealization I feel. it helped to put into perspective.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 11:20am

I think practicing the techniques is key here.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 6:04pm
What is this panic book you are talking about? I ruminate constantly, and it is going to be the death of me. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:57am

I am bad for ruminating too. When you said "i get to the point im overanalyzing my own existence, and everyone around me. it starts to make me feel depersonalized again" that hit the nail on the head for me. I have been fighting this for a couple weeks. I keep trying to tell myself that it is ok to have these feelings and thoughts and that I am still here living and breathing. But I keep thinking it is a sign of something bigger wrong with me or worse things to come. Like I am slowly going insane or becoming someone with multiple personalities or something. It is crazy, at this point, I do not think the feelings come on their own hardly even, I think I am constantly doing a mental check so often that I create the feeling each time I stop doing whatever else I am doing and think am I having "that" feeling? And of course it comes right away and I freak again. I feel so stuck. I am making my husband crazy and I cannot seem to stop. I try to reassure myself but it just won't work sometimes. I get really depressed too and then I feel even worse, like nothing matters around me and why am I even here and stuff starts going through my head. (not that I would hurt myself or anything, I just get to feeling really really down and bad.)

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 2:36pm

Kim, What you just posted made a light in my head go off.

The past week has been particuarly hard for me. I got in a really bad car accident last week which totaled my car and left me injured with whiplash, and sealtvelt/airbag burns, and my back hurts so badly that I have to visit the chiropractor once a week for the next two months. The doctor told me not to do any physical activity for a while as he said it would slow the healing process in my back and spine, I guess I have a ton of pinched nerves or something. So it has been quiet the tough week. That along with all the other things in my life i'm dealing with right now.

I do the same thing about that "one thought" or thoughts on the subject of my thought. Even though I got in a car accident and I totaled my car and it's going to cost me a ton of money and lawyers ect. my mind just keeps going back and dweling on that one thought that I have been struggling with for the past two months. It truly is like I have a mental checklist that I go over and over and if I stop doing something or stop putting all my attention into my job I think am I having that feeling again? And even if I wasn't that question alone brings it back full force.

I'm still burning myself with the OBSESIVE thougts about starting my new relationship. To other people they think it's silly and that i'm over thinking it, which I am, but to me it is so real. I really have no reason to be afraid of the future. I know that if things don't work out we will just go our separate ways. I had bad relationships in the past and I broke a few hearts and so I think i'm scared of hurting him...hurting another person and that I won't be able to live with myself. I can just focus on the now and have fun I just keep getting scared that i'm going to hurt him or that i'll make myself stay in the relationship longer because I don't want to hurt him. So then I freak myself out and think OMG I must really not like him when I know I do because before my anxiety came back everyhting between us was so fun and blissful. I don't think It's him I think I am going to face this problem with anyone I date.

Anyways I just went on a long tangent, but it felt good to get those words out. I just wanted to say that I relate to everything you guys have said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 7:19pm

I'm glad you wrote. It certainly helps to get things off your chest, I can attest to that big time! Write me anytime at kbandy@donet.com. Very sorry to hear about your accident. That is a stressor that you do not need. I hope you recover well. Bummer.

As for the thoughts....I TOTALLY know what you mean. I have a great husband that I have been with 9 years total, going on 10 and he is the best. However, my stupid mind really gets me going at times. I will get to feeling weird mentally and then not be able to be around anyone and me and him are normally real close so I get to overthinking and saying gee, you are getting upset right before you see him (not that it always happens right before I see him) so that must mean you do not love him or that you are not meant to be together and my mind goes out of control from there. Then I feel so guilty. It is awful. Just awful. I hate living like this. I have had many failed relationships in the past due to overly worrying and obsessing over stuff. This relationship is super hard because now that we are married and I know he is the one, I feel even worse when I do this crap. It makes things so hard.

I do it about so many things. Usually it is about my mental state or health state. Like I will overanalyze the heck out of things. I will have a weird feeling or thought and then instead of moving on I will ruminate it to death until I am so wound up and anxious that I cannot see myself living through it. I will also do it about my health. If I feel some kind of lump or bump or if I have some sort of weird sensation, look out - I will worry myself sick. Now with those medical/physical type worries, I will usually get real depressed and withdrawn as I ruminate. But for mental state worries, I get more anxious and scared to death as I ruminate. The fear of going crazy I guess is what drives that. I have a terrible fear of losing control mentally.

As I sit here now and write this I am recovering from having a real hard time earlier today. I was at work and all was ok but suddenly I got to thinking too much about this particular stupid thought lately and BAM I was a freaking mess for like 2 hours which felt like eternity. The current thought is this weird thing where I feel disconnected from my own head. Like I am me in one way but then something else is in my head making me feel not real. I know, it sounds crazy. It feels crazy. I used to have those feelings about people around me, like they were not real, and that bugged me a lot itself. I felt like a real weirdo. But then I started turning it inward like thinking I am not for real. Very scary...Logically I know I am but I get so upset that those thoughts happen at the time that I totally lose it.

Kim