Having terrible panic
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| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 1:46pm |
Hi everyone:
I have posted here before from time to time. I am back because my anxiety is really bad right now and I don't know where to turn with it anymore. I am not on meds because they don;t work for me. I have tried everything from Prozac to Lithium.
At the end of last year I reported my boss to the powers that be where I work because he was making racist remarks to me on a daily basis. I ended up so filled with anxiety and panic after having gone through the complaint process that I had to go on a sick leave for 2.5 months. I came back to a situation where people at work had taken sides (me or the boss), and where people treated me as though having a mental illness made me crazy. How they knew that was the reason for my leave is a mystery. I was displaced from my own job (the boss kept his), then shuffled from job to job as they tried to find people willing to work with me. It has just been a nightmare. I have been in four jobs since January of this year. The man I accused admitted to what he had done, so there is no way that people can be thinking I made things up. Despite that, I have been made to "pay" over and over again.
I am now in a job that I had thought might work out, but the people I work with have discovered what happened with me and now the whole atmosphere has changed. I am in a real bind because though I desperately want to find a new job, I am having daily panic and anxiety and I feel like there is no way I cna add to that by going through the stress of finding new work.
THere are days, like today, where I spend a lot of time wondering if it's worth it to continue my life. It just seems like I will never be happy, healthy, etc. I am so tired living in this nightmare of panic and anxiety. I have tried talking about it, but I think my family is really tired of going through this with me. I can't blame them, I'm tired too.
Thanks for reading.
Stephanie

WB, Stephanie. I am sorry to hear what you have gone through. I admire your perseverance. However, it seems that having paid more than enough, maybe you should get legal help or move to another company. Are these options? Have you considered working from home? Opening a business? Moving to another area? It would seem that this awful stress is triggering your panic. Getting away from the situation would most assuredly help.
I am worried that you feel so down. If you continue to wonder if life is worth living or feel you may harm yourself, please seek help ASAP. Call a crisis hotline or have someone take you
(((Stephanie))) I'm so sorry that you are suffering like this.
Sheri Ann