cronic GAD and two children

Avatar for sending_smiles_2u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
cronic GAD and two children
5
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 6:55pm
As much as I love my children and planned to have them so close together, -they are 20 months apart almost to the day- I am finding it very very hard on a daily basis dealing with them and trying to get all the things done that a mom has to do. My kids are just turning 4 and 2 years old.
I am realy discouraged. I love them both soooo very much and have great times with them, but I feel like there is so much to do I get all worked up and then my stress shuts my body down and I can't do anythin. The problem with not doing anything is, well, with the kids, it never happens. I litteraly spend my days breaking up arguments -mom she took my toy. mom he hit me- and giving time outs. and then all the laundy an dishes and vacuming is still there for me to do, and I CAN"T LIVE IN A MESS without feeling stressed to the MAX.
Most days I put myslef to bed when they go down for a nap, cause by 12.00 I am so stressed I can't deal with anything anymore, but then once again nothing gets down in the house and it is an eivil rotating cyle.
ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE LIKE ME, Struggling with full time life as a mom and Anxiety disorder?
what can I do to help myself have better days? How have you delt with it and to young children?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 7:32pm

Hello! Welcome to our caring community. You are NOT alone. Like many women nowadays, trying to do it all is impossible. It's not your kids, because I know you wouldn't trade them for the world. I think it may be your expectations. Like most of us with anxiety disorders, you are probably very smart, a high achiever & alot on the perfectionistic side. Somehow you need to become your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy.


Have you taken a look through our *coping tips & tricks* folder below? Make sure that you click the more button when you come to the end to get to the second page. Over the years I have learned to work around & through a less than perfect house. As long as my kids were fed & clean, I learned to be happy. Life is too short to allow housework to be a priority. When the kids get to *scrappin* as my gramma used to call it, that's the time for mom to take a breather & do something fun like finger painting or baking a batch of cookies with them. Nothing shut my kids up any quicker than when I said it's time mom reads you girls a book;)


I hope you have some interests or hobbies that get you out of the house or give you some time to yourself. We care about you & hope you get to feeling better. Post anytime & join in our chats. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 10:11pm
I also have 2 little kids and I find it so hard. I always wonder how other moms do it so calmly. I try to let it all go and say why bother but I hate the mess. I am a neat freak so even letting it go means my house looks better that most. I also think what is the point of being a stay at home mom if you spend no time with them so then I get guilt too. It will get easier. Sit down and watch TV with them. The mess will still be there but they won't always be little. Try to think of all the people who are perfectly happy and have messes and it doesn't bother them. I wish it didn't bother me and I could put glasses on so I couldn't see it all. Try to get out EARLY everyday if you wait it gets harder to leave. Get it all ready the night before including picking up the house etc., your clothes and theirs, bags, snacks..etc. Eat breakfast and leave and go to the mall , bookstore,park,pool, a gvm with a daycare.. somewhere..no matter how tired you are. It is exhausting no matter where you are but at least you will come home to a clean house and it might even be less work out of the house..then they can nap and you might find energy to get some stuff done while they nap. Hire a teenager to come over and play with them so you can do chores etc and then you can have your evening free to relax or have peace. Trust me I am the most stressed out mom. i vacuumed the day I got home from the hospital after having kids and never sat down when they were tiny. I regret this behavior and think why couldn't I have enjoyed it more but maybe it was a sign that I had an anxiety disorder back then that has now surfaced. Good Luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 11:39pm
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. My girls are 16 months apart. And I am due next month and number 2 and 3 will be 20 months apart. I do work outside of the home, so I think that helps some. But being eight months pregnant, working outside of the home, and having an almost 3 year old and 19 month old is no walk in the park. I have people all the time tell me they don't know how I do it. I don't either. But I know it's a phase in my life. Unfortunately I have let certain things in my house go. But I tell myself that it's not the end of the world. If I am truly upset about something not being done I wait until my girls are in bed and I do the things I can't do when they are up. And I try to do things I can when they are awake. The best way is to try to get what you can done when they are awake. Will your kids help you? I know they are young, but my oldest loves to help me do certain things and she's almost 3. Plus it keeps them busy. Hugs!






Image hosting by Photobucket






Image hosting by Photobucket



Image hosting by Photobucket


Photobuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 11:02am

try REALLY HARD to find a babysitter and clean!
is your mom or siblings around?

and remember this is temporary, when they are in
school you are not going to know what to do with
yourself!!

i have a disabled 5 yo and panic disorder, when my
dh takes him to the movies or something after about
2 hours i miss him and can't wait for them to get home....

YOU NEED A BREAK, work on getting it.

kris

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 12:34pm

I can sympathize, I have 2 kids that are 16 months apart, I swear it was like raising twins!!

Sheri Ann