Is it real or in my mind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Is it real or in my mind?
4
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 10:59am

I hope some of you can relate to this. I often have trouble distinguishing between what is real and what's imaginary. When I'm stressed out from work or other things, I notice it's even harder to tell what's real. My biggest fear is about germs and getting sick. Sometimes I worry that when someone is talking to me they might spit on my face by accident, and sometimes I *think* I feel it, but I'm not sure! I also HATE usuing public bathrooms. Whenever I wash my hands in the sink, I feel like the water from the sink has splashed on my lip or in my eye, and that germs from the sink are on me now. Same thing when I flush the toilet. But I am not sure if it really happened. It seems unlikely, but I can't tell! Can anyone relate to this? It's very exhausting! I try to tell myself it didn't really happen, but I can't convince myself.

P.S. If this really happened, I'd probably be sick all the time. I can't even remember the last time I had a cold.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 11:38am

TBH, whether you're healthy or not, these splashes, germs etc. wouldn't pose a real threat to any of us unless we were compromised by health problems that left us vulnerable. A good washing with soap & water would eliminate most any real danger. Since you are in good health, Babe, remind yourself that even when you thought you were exposed to germs, you didn't suffer any effects. In other words, keep the positive thoughts flowing when the negative thinking hits.


I have had the awful health concerns. My visiting nurse just left after packing my wound. Today it sort of hurt as she did it & I cannot shake the thought that she stuck my bowel & I will be dying soon of peritonitis. I am constantly *feeling* things that suggest a catastrophe is imminent. I can't even explain these feelings. Like a little ache or pain here. Or a tiny bit of nausea there. All I know is that I am sitting on the edge of my chair awaiting my doom. It is so irrational & silly. Years ago, I would get angry & beat myself up for such thoughts. I have learned not to do that. In a couple hours, when I am still alive,

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 1:03pm

I OFTEN times step back when talking to people, because of the spittle.. ICK! I just want to say, can you swallow a little before going on..

if its truelly becoming bothersome or hindering you from daily activities, and the thoughts are ALWAYS there, I think you should talk about them with your dr. its important to address and diagnose.

gb. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 2:05pm
Thanks for the response. My GP doctor knows. I think she got frustrated with me the last time I called and she talked to me for a long time about my imagined fears. Also have been to many psych docs and therapists. Been on all the meds. Nothing helps. I grew up with an OCD mother who constantly instilled fear of germs into me. We weren't allowed to touch ANYthing in a public bathroom. At nearly 30 years old, I'm still trying to remember that millions of people use them every day and nothing happens to them. A therapist once told me that you always want to believe that what your parents teach you is right--you look up to them more than anyone and you want to believe that they know best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Fri, 07-21-2006 - 3:56pm

I agree, that is so true, about believing what our parents teach us.

Sheri Ann