I just cant live like this anymorURGENT
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I just cant live like this anymorURGENT
| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 3:59pm |
Hi Everyone!!
Again I would like to say I am so so sorry for going on like this and not doing anything to help myself in the mean time.. Well, I am still having a sore throat this week. I was doing so good for a few weeks and then it came back.. Sometimes I even get a mild earache from it.. For those of you that know my situation you know I am mordified of going to the doctor!!! Well, last Friday I was literally at my wits end!! Spraying cloreseptic spray tylenol advil nasal cong pills, I decided Ok Ill call the doctor on Monday well get this I get a letter from his office saying that with deep regret and due to unfor seen circumstances he has shut his practice down~~ I almost passed out!! He is a young doctor, and had his own office for only 2 years. I dont know why the sudden move?? My husband and I were thinking maybe he gfot in trouble or something. he made it clear that he will no longer be practicing medicine!! You all have to understand this man was like a normal person and didnt act like a doctor!! Now I have NO DOCTOR!!!! I am living in terror!! All I want to do is take somehting to make me tired and put the covers over my head and sleep this away!! The kids are home on summer break ages 12 and 10 and I feel like I cant cope I cant yell because I am afraid Ill loose my voice,, I am trying so so hard to cut back on my smoking. My mother in law suggested to try and switch from the menthol to regular if I am going to continue to smke maybe thats irritating something.. I feel like a terrible oerson complaining about this when I am a smoker and with the anxiety its hard to quit.. I have ZERO supprt from my husband. we are in the middle of putting an addition onto the house and he is so wrapped up in that , that he only has time for that!! I am crushed I want to feel better.. My sick mind is telling me that if I go to the doctor and it is post nasal drip or something what is he going to tell me to take that I havent already? Its not an option for me to have my tonsills removed I am scared to death of surgerys? So why should I go so I can hear that I am dying of throat cancer? I know the normal person would say well wouldnt you want to know now then later? I just rather die in my sleep then finding that out.. I am doctorless now anyway!! I wish I had someone near by that suffers the way I do and alot of you guys do and be able to get some support and understanding.. I am sorry about this I have nobody else to turn too. Love Kriss
Again I would like to say I am so so sorry for going on like this and not doing anything to help myself in the mean time.. Well, I am still having a sore throat this week. I was doing so good for a few weeks and then it came back.. Sometimes I even get a mild earache from it.. For those of you that know my situation you know I am mordified of going to the doctor!!! Well, last Friday I was literally at my wits end!! Spraying cloreseptic spray tylenol advil nasal cong pills, I decided Ok Ill call the doctor on Monday well get this I get a letter from his office saying that with deep regret and due to unfor seen circumstances he has shut his practice down~~ I almost passed out!! He is a young doctor, and had his own office for only 2 years. I dont know why the sudden move?? My husband and I were thinking maybe he gfot in trouble or something. he made it clear that he will no longer be practicing medicine!! You all have to understand this man was like a normal person and didnt act like a doctor!! Now I have NO DOCTOR!!!! I am living in terror!! All I want to do is take somehting to make me tired and put the covers over my head and sleep this away!! The kids are home on summer break ages 12 and 10 and I feel like I cant cope I cant yell because I am afraid Ill loose my voice,, I am trying so so hard to cut back on my smoking. My mother in law suggested to try and switch from the menthol to regular if I am going to continue to smke maybe thats irritating something.. I feel like a terrible oerson complaining about this when I am a smoker and with the anxiety its hard to quit.. I have ZERO supprt from my husband. we are in the middle of putting an addition onto the house and he is so wrapped up in that , that he only has time for that!! I am crushed I want to feel better.. My sick mind is telling me that if I go to the doctor and it is post nasal drip or something what is he going to tell me to take that I havent already? Its not an option for me to have my tonsills removed I am scared to death of surgerys? So why should I go so I can hear that I am dying of throat cancer? I know the normal person would say well wouldnt you want to know now then later? I just rather die in my sleep then finding that out.. I am doctorless now anyway!! I wish I had someone near by that suffers the way I do and alot of you guys do and be able to get some support and understanding.. I am sorry about this I have nobody else to turn too. Love Kriss

I have no new thoughts on how to help you, Kriss. The only peace you will find is going to the dr. & getting your throat checked. You could go to the ER or a local clinic since your dr. is leaving. (BTW, doctors close their practices & move everyday. If you had been seeing your dr. regularly, this move probably wouldn't have come as such a surprise.)
I am going to be very stern with you. All this medicine you are taking can be dangerous. It doesn't matter if it's OTC(over the counter) or not. People get addicted to decongestants & nose drops all the time & live to regret their use. I haven't any idea how much of these things you're taking, but there's every chance that in combination, they are making your throat worse.
Now that you're expressing thoughts to die, I am more concerned than ever. Thoughts like this are never normal. Call a local crisis line. Call 1-800-SUICIDE. Talk to someone in real life that can give you some support. Not seeking help for yourself is your right. But, allowing this depression to continue & wishing not to wake up leaves your husband & children holding the bag. That isn't fair. They would not want to live their lives without you. Please have someone take you to get medical help. You will be fine. You will be so relieved. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
I havent been taking nose drops etc. Sorry if I wasnt clear I was trying sudefed.. I am not suicidal and apologize and want to re clarify.. I just feel like I have had it mentally.. I am exremly frustrated anbd feel like I just want to pull my hair out..You are right theres nothing to say at this point.. Thats how bad my anxiety is. My phobia of going to the doctor it is just insane.. I used to be the type of person where I ran to the doctor for every other little thing and then about 5 years ago I became the very opposite. I want to apologize again for alarming you Jan and anybody else that reads this post I am not suididal it was a figure of speech.. I guess what it comes down to is I will just have to suffer with this situation until I am finally at the end of my rope and go to the doctor. I will certainly not go to the ER.. No Way.. It is doctors like the ones in the ER that can scare ya half to death. I need to find someone with compassion and understanding like my current doctor. After posting, I called his office, I nneded to find out what to do regarding my medical records. My doctors wife is very ill and that is why he is now closing his practice. He is not moving.. It really was a shock to everybody..I think that if I had a little support in my household maybe things would be a little better however, I have a husband that has adult ADHD, a sick little boy who is constantly in the hospital, and I just feel that everything is always on my plate.. I have a young mother early 50's however, she has bipolar disorder so we dont have that mother daughter type relationship like some do. When I say I have NO FRIENDS I mean no friends!! So I guess I am just feeling extremly alone and again frustrated with my situation. I may talk to me psych. about trying Zoloft. We spoke about this last month when going over this situation however things seemed to get better for a few weeks and then it came back so I am now going to consider trying it again. I was on ityears ago after having my son and had no sideeffects but I dont remember how I did on it.. I am on Wellbuterin which is so so good for depression I can now goout and drive but it also makes the anxiety worse so its tough.. Thanks Again for your continues support. I WILL TRY TO LAY OFF POSTING HERE FOR AWHILE. i DONT WANT TO DRIVE YOU ALL CRAZY!! God Bless. Kriss
(((Kriss))) You will NEVER drive us crazy.
Sheri Ann
Hi Kriss-
I dont know why you keep apologizing for your feelings and even said you will not post anymore? I think posting is a very beneficial part of trying to help yourself and get support from others. Dont feel sorry for how you feel.
Is there anyone you can get a referral from? Aside from opening the yellow pages, maybe you can ask the phyc (make a special call before your appt) for a personal referral to someone he trusts. You wont feel better until you have it checked, you probably need an antibiotic and thats why OTC meds are not working. Can the dr that perscribes the Wellbutrin give you any advice? Its prob the phyc, I assume. Just hold your nose and jump. Make the appt, drag youself there and get an antibiotic for the immediate problem. Then you may want to revamp your meds if your still having such bad health anxiety.
Good luck, your not alone.
Donna
You must have had bad experiences with ER doctors, Kriss. They may be a little pressed for time, but their experience & training usually lend to them being supportive. When I suggested the ER, I should have said the immediate care ER. Most hospitals nowadays provide a unit that sees folks who need routine medical care when they don't have a dr. or the time to wait for a scheduled appointment.
The way you were talking, I thought you were @ the end of your rope & ready to finally find out about your throat. Why suffer any longer & needlessly? Something must have happened 5 years ago that changed your views on seeking help. Have you talked to your therapist about this? Some people neglect their health because they don't feel worthy.
I think the zoloft sounds like just the ticket. Like Donna said, take the plunge. Help yourself by taking that first step. It will help the depression, too. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan