Anxiety re my hubby being gone a week

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Anxiety re my hubby being gone a week
5
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 7:16am
I need some help!! My husband of three years whom I adore and love to be with is scheduled to go out of the country for a week the end of September. I don't want him to go. I never want him to leave overnight for more than a day or two. I am sick to my stomach and worrying about it already and it is over six weeks away. I am dreading saying goodbye to him (there will be no contact as he will be at our remote family cabin -- no phones, etc.). I want him to have a good time and not remember his sobbing wife saying goodbye to him but I can't stand the thought of him not being here if I need him for something or just want to talk or just want to hold him. I have already shed tears overy worrying about this and I need help on how to get over these ridiculous feelings. I know he will be fine and I know I will be fine and I know he will come back so why am I feeling this way?? HELP ME!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 8:59am
I can so relate to what you're feeling. I get the same way when my husband has to leave. I don't have any great advice at this point, but will be reading the thread to see if anyone else does. You're not alone!! ((HUGS))
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 9:26am

I guess going with him is out of the question??

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:50am

Hi! Glad to have you in our caring community. You are NOT alone. People with anxiety fear changes in routine & have a difficult time when their *safe place* is lost. I would imagine that you lean on your dh for support & he is your safety. Is that correct?


What are your fears when dh is away? Can you put them into words? Are they concrete? I know that my thinking really gets skewed up & I imagine things happening that aren't even rational, when my family is away. Over the years, I have learned to take each fear, real

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 2:47pm

Well thanks everyone for the advice and words of encouragement. I'll try to remember all your questions and answer them.

Going with him is out of the question. He is going to our family cabin with all of the men in our family to fish and close it up for the winter. I don't think they would appreciate me tagging along -- in fact I know that there are a few who would adamantly refuse the idea instantly.

What am I actually afraid of? I HAVE NO IDEA -- that is why this is so ridiculous! I am scared I will need him for something while he is gone or that I'll simply want to talk to him or hold him. What will I do all evening when he isn't here. And it isn't like we spend time together constantly when he is home. He goes out to the garage and works on different projects and can be out there for a couple hours at a time without me seeing him, but I know that I can go out there to talk if I want to. I know that he is here, close if I need him.

I know that keeping busy is the best thing and I plan on trying to do that, but I am limited by my two girls being here with me, one 6 year old who will be in school then and one who just turned one. I know they'll keep me busy to a certain extent, but NONE of this seems to help me deal with this nagging anxiety I feel inside me.

Thanks for the support and any other help would be greatly appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 8:59pm
hi there- i can too relate to what your going through...i hate it when dh is gone all day for work let alone days for a trip! i think its normal to feel this way, as long as you don't let it over take you (i wish it didn't over take me too)...post here as often as you like...we are all here for you and will listen...i KNOW its not even close to the same as having dh there, but we're here to support ya! do you have any family/friends that will spend extra time with you during this time? keep us udated on how you are doing:)

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