I Need Support for an Anxiety Situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2006
I Need Support for an Anxiety Situation
4
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 1:51pm

Hi,

Last Saturday, my husband, 21 year old daughter and 24 year old son went to see the musical Wicked. The seats were set up that my husband and daughter sat in front of my son and I. We went to the show for my daughter’s 21st birthday.

I don't think my son wanted to go to the show because he was being very snappy and cold to all of us even before the show started. Well we sat down and the show starts. Ten minutes into the show, I start feeling very tense and wanted to go outside to the lobby. I just didn't want to sit next to my son at that time. So at first I went outside to calm down, and I didn't take any medication. I went back into the theater about five minutes later, and after about another ten minutes, I felt even more tense. I said to my son that I was having a panic attack and it was his fault. I knew as soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. Well I went out to the lobby and took some Xanax and watched the rest of the show from the lobby TV. I talk to my husband and daughter at intermission and they were fine with me out in the lobby. By the way, I was totally fine by intermission but I still wanted to stay out in the lobby.

Well this is my problem when we went with my family to dinner after the show. I was fine; however, my son was not. He said that he was done with me and he does not want to deal with this anymore. When we got to my house, my son left for his home right away and was cold as ice to me. Later in the week, I tried to talk to him on the phone; he was still being very cold and very short with me.

I have been crying over this since Saturday. My anxiety attack resolved pretty quickly, however, the effect it has on other people seems to last a lot longer.

Please advise me on how I can get my son back to being sweet and caring about me.

Thanks for listening.

Elana

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:16pm

(((Elana)))

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:21pm

Welcome, Elana. Nice to see you here;) You are not alone when it comes to having tension & panicking in theaters. I have had the same trouble over the years. I think you did a good job coping with your feelings.


As for your son, I am sorry for what has transpired. It would seem to me that alot of issues came into play when you made that statement to him & why he responded the way he did. We have all been guilty of saying things that were regrettable in the heat of the moment. I am sure you would do anything to be able to take those words back. That isn't possible. For now, you need to allow him some space. He's hurt & angry & needs to cool off. Maybe in the future you can regain his trust. Perhaps you will need a mediator to help you two get back into some sort of state of grace. Attempting to make amends for something that must have been so painful this early in the game is more than likely futile. Are you seeing a therapist? You need to talk this out with someone you trust & who will be non-judgemental. Perhaps therapy will help you through this time. This time will be determined by your son. @ 24, he is an adult with his own mind. I hope this passes quickly & easily for you.


Please post anytime with questions or concerns. We have chat tonight & would be happy to see you stop in. Also, there's a *coping tips & tricks* folder below that may help you to alleviate stress. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan





 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:09pm

just wanted to say hi and offer my support...i know what its like for our anxiety to put a strain on our loved ones....they don't completely ever will understand...and thats okay, but its hard when they've had enough of us...


give him some time to cool down, and then i would tell him i'm sorry about what i said....and thats all you can do...we can't make others see our point of view, alls we can do is hope that they listen to us and have pacience with us..


hang in there and keep us posted how it goes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 1:11am

((((Elana))))

From my experience people with panic and anxiety tend to be very annoying to other people. I experienced that myself being totally aware how my reactions are hard to others. So I tend to be alone a lot. When I become closer to someone it becomes a threat. Yes, it's no excuse to run away from people but for now I can't do the other way.

I would suggest to definitely let him go for now and when you cool off explain what's going on. It is obvious that your son is fed up with you because you tend to put the blame on others for your state. Stop that, it's no one's fault. If my mom told me I am guilty of her panic I'd stay away from her too. So it's nothing unusual.

I hope it will turn out the best for you.