Had attack today

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Had attack today
5
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 8:21pm

Ive been doing okay this past week, I managed to keep busy at work and try NOT to worry about my leg. Thursday night I touched it (after not touching it ALL day long) and felt the lump was much MUCH smaller and as of today its almost gone, thank GOD!! Just have some minor bruising left and scab's.....from the blisters that pretty much came out of nowhere. I finally KNOW Im going to be ok and it's not Cancer, thank GOD! I feel better on that note.


But today after my Boyfriend left I had a pretty bad attack. I always feel like I bring them on.....like I could have stopped it....usually we talk while my boyfriend drives home (he lives an hour away, and he spends every other weekend with me) but we couldn't because his cell phone was about to die so we had to hang up. I started to have an attack right away.....knowing we couldn't talk again until tomorrow. He had to get home, change and go into work, he doesn't get out of work until 12:30 am. For almost 2 hours I sat here, online, freaking out. I sent him MANY text messages begging for him to write back but knowing inside he couldn't because his phone was dead....but I STILL worried because I wasn't getting a response. It's like I KNEW he couldn't write back but I worried anyways. I also kept calling and he didn't answer of course. I spent two hours in a panic......then finally he called to see what was wrong. I couldn't tell him I had an attack so I told him I was worried about my Mom because sh's having a Colonostopy on Sept 1st which is true....they found a mass in her intestine. She has very bad IBS so the DR thinks she's just backed up but he wants to be SURE, Im really worried about it. I wanted to tell him about the attack but it's hard for me. I think I know what trigger's the attacks....just general worry about not seeing him again for two weeks......just worry about everything in general.....plus not being able to talk with him on the way home today.


Im ok now.....Im still kind of upset....tired but I don't want to sleep...worried about my Mom ...and just things in general......dont want to go to work tomorrow...I always fear an attack at work (its happened many times). Sometimes I dont know if Im having attacks or just consumed by extreme worry.......and I just WISH he could be here now....he takes all my fear and worry away and its just so hard.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 9:28pm

I think it's important that you find something to keep your mind busy, both at work & at home.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 7:18pm
Thanks for the advice...and your right...I obsess a lot,I know I do this with a lot of things in life. I TRY so hard to keep busy both at work and at home and sometimes it works, other times it doesn't.......I guess I have a lot going on right now, a lot of upcoming things that Im worried about.Plus the fact that Im not happy at my job...but I have to stay for right now.....I KNOW add's to the Stress and Anxiety I feel . Im feeling better today but Ive just been bummed out about work......I really need a new job but right now isn't a good time to leave.....Id like to be able to leave by EARLY next year, maybe sooner.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 8:53pm
sorry about your attack...they suck don't they...glad to hear your doing better...keep us posted

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 9:18am

Job stress is a common factor among so many of our members.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 12:31pm
Hi I am sorry that you have panic!! It sure stinks!!
If you can feel so great when your boyfriend is around why
not when he is not there??? I used to feel the same about my
husband then I realized it was a "state of mind"
I tried little tricks with myself to control my feelings!!
You knew you could not reach him on the phone but kept up anyway
how FRUSTRATING that must have been! Do you wonder why you did that?
As far as the job I learned certain people triggered me and would
avoid them like the plague or if I had to have contact in my mind
I would say consider the source the whole time they were talking!!
or hmmmmmm what a jerk!! It really does work!!
I hope that my suggestions help a little bit and HUGS FOR YOU!!! Judy