Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thank you
3
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 9:34pm

Thank you to all you ladies who replied to my long post. Especially thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. I actually cried (which I don't allow myself to do often, I know, I know..) reading that there are people out there who feel like I do. Not because I want anyone else to, but because you understand. It's so hard trying to explain to loved ones without feeling like they are going to ask you to politely step inside the nice white jacket and come play trampoline in the pretty padded room.

I have actually had a horrible two days, mostly taking out my irrational thoughts and fears on my poor best friend. Thank God she is understanding and forgiving. We are going shopping tomorrow and I am going to finally tell her why I am acting funny and bitchy. (I'm lashing out at her)

I realized I did a really bad thing by dropping the Zoloft cold turkey. Honestly, I do know better, I am a medical transcriptionist and fully aware of what I shouldn't do. I did go this evening and refill my Xanax because HOLY Cr@p I am having a barbque at my house tomorrow nigth and the obsessive compulsive side of me is going to bludgger the anxious side of me into a heart attack before the night is out.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you. I am going to make an appointment with my PCP next week and talk to her about possibly seeing a therapist and trying a different drug. I know that I have inherited this disease, as my maternal grandmother has panic disorder (although I think it developed much later) and insomnia, and my mom has OCD (really bad) and insomnia. Okay, shaking horribly now and clenching my jaw, time to go lie down and try to breath. Have a great Labor Day all.

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: bchellec13
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 10:19pm

Michelle, you have made some really important choices & I think they are the right ones.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-1998
In reply to: bchellec13
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 10:04am

Michelle,
You are not alone! I am happy to see that you still have a sense of humor even in the midst of it all-- that helps!
Use your Xanax to help you through the bbq, and then I think that seeing your pdoc about going to a therapist and getting a new med is a great plan.

Try to enjoy the bbq if you can!! (((hugs))
Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
In reply to: bchellec13
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 10:28am