Have to make some hard decisions

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Have to make some hard decisions
14
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 10:08am

Well, I was planning to call my ob gyn tomorrow to make my 6 week check up appointment. I really need to know what I am doing about birth control. My DH wants me to get my tubes tied. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that I don't want to do that. Although I did want another baby I didn't even expect to try to get pregnant with baby #3 till this time. So he came a year early. That's fine. I discussed with DH that I hoped when I saw that I would feel like our family is complete. Well, because the birth experience was pretty traumatic for me this time, I didn't even think about all that. Well, after we got home and I really took the time to hold him and think about that I didn't feel like our family was complete. I have been avoiding that for a while.

I know I don't want the tubal. But something in my heart tells me that I need to do it because I can finally put this family thing to rest. Sure I will be sad about it, but I will get over it. Then, I tell myself to get an IUD. It is very effective, and in a couple/few years if I truly know we are done with kids I will have good birth control in place. So I need to call my insurance and find out if it covers it. But for some reason having a device that stays in my body for years and doesn't come out makes me nervous. I could go on the pill or do the nuvaring again, but I am bad about stopping it and that is when I usually get pregnant.

So I am going to make a list of pros and cons to about having anothe baby. I know my DH is not for having another baby anyway, but I need to do this for my self. I need to face something and deal with it instead of pushing issues that are painful for me to the side. Because as I have found they can resurface later.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 11:15am

My question is this.....

If your DH is set on no more children( which seems to be the case) and you dont want a tubal ligation....Why not suggest he get a vasectomy? Its not too painful and the healing time is very short compared with a tubal ligation.

It would take care of you getting an IUD(i dont like them personally) and the tubal ligation. You get what you want...no tubes tied and avoiding major surgery and he gets what he wants..no more children...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 12:03pm

As with the last post, if your husband gets the vasectomy, then your AP will be lessened with you not having to go through yet another procedure (I'm including labor in procedures). Of course, if you think you may want more, you are right. You need to decide what is best for you.

I want to have a baby but I'm terrified. I kinda have some of the same situations you do. It is so hard.

Keeping you in my thoughts!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 1:10pm
Well, DH was going to get the big V done, but he wanted to do it the week I had the baby since he was going to be off already. I said no way am I taking care of a newborn and a hurt husband. So I told him he can do it but later. So he has pretty much dropped the vasectomy thing. He probably would still do it, but I told him I would consider getting my tubes tied so he's been counting on that. I called my insurance and they cover IUD. So I just need to decide. My DH can still get the vasectomy if he wants to whenever he wants to. It's his body. I just want him to be sure he's done having kids.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 1:27pm
Well, my insurance pretty much covers everything. I am a little erry of the IUD, but it is very effective, and doesn't need me to do anything to make it work. Plus, I don't have to pay anything for it. If I do the nuvaring it is 25 dollars a month. I know I'm cheap. I am just wondering do you have any kids? You mentioned you were terrified to have a baby, hope I'm not being too nosey.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 2:23pm

(((Yavonne))) I feel as tho you are not ready to get a tubal ligation.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 3:17pm

you just had a baby...give yourself some time to make this HUGE decision (if you can)...good for you for dealing with it asap, but maybe you should let it lye for a few weeks until your body and hormones can get back into check? i know i'm too hormonal right now to be making any life changing decisions and i'd image i will be 2 weeks after birth too...


i agree that you should deal with this issue instead of pushing it aside, but could you hold off on any major decisions for a few weeks?


just my opinion...i am going through the "same" thing...i say now i DON"T DON"T DON"T want anyother children cause i am sooo miserably anxious and depressed while pregnate...i'm all ready to get dh "fixed" (and turns out he hates me preggo too and is ready to get "fixed" too), but...i am "waiting" to make this decision official until a few months till after the baby is born and i'm feeling better (hopefully)...


let us know what you decide

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 4:50pm
I like the pros & cons thing. That has been a big help in my decison making. I wish you lots of luck, Yavonne in finding what is right for you. (((hugs))) jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 10:20pm
I was hoping you would respond because I knew you had a situation that made me want to stick to my original decision. Which was no to the tubal. Right now I am leaning towards bcp or the nuvaring. Thanks for your reply.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 10:23pm
Heather you are right. I don't need to make any big decisions right now. I am pretty sure after really thinking about it today that I will not get a tubal. I am going to do something else. When I am really sure if DH didn't get a vasectomy by then, then I can do it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 10:28pm
Thanks Jan. I did do the pros and cons thing. That really helped. I realized that it is too soon to make that decision. So I will be doing a monthly hormonal birth control for now. Oh, I noticed you have a Johnny Depp pic by your screen name. Did you see that movie The Libertine? That was kinda weird.

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