Is this normal or am I a freak-LONG
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Is this normal or am I a freak-LONG
| Thu, 09-07-2006 - 12:05pm |
I have been on this board for the past month or so and it has helped a lot! I have lots of anxiety which in turn makes for depression. For example Today I have my house cleaners coming and I am spending like 5 hrs cleaning up for them-have two kids and a husband who works from home so it is a daily mess. The cleaners do all the deep cleaning that I never find time to do anymore. Lots of guilt over hiring them cause I am a SHM but do work pt at night from home and one day in the office and drive older kid to school and back and all activities everyday and little one to prek 3days. Kinda busy! Anyways, I am in a tizzy and shaking cause I am cleaning up all over the house from room to room and doing laundry and etc. Any mom knows the story. Why am I shaking and so stressed? I feel like I cannot handle anything. I am getting it all done but then worrying about leaving at 2 to get my daughter who gets out at 3pm and worrying about making it to her school open house at 5:30 and worrying will I get this all cleaned up so the cleaning girls can walk in and do their job? Maybe it was the strong coffee? I feel like I am not normal for stressing out over dumb stuff. I am trying not to take a 1/2 xanax cause I have tried to stop them a few days ago but i am so shaky. I have had high bp readings every time I go to the DR. even on xanax and they seem not to think it is a problem and that it is just I am anxious. MY big fear is the reverse that I have high BP and it is causing me to shake and feel so bad and have palpitations and feel a little dizzy at times. Could this be true or is it symptomless? Can it just be anxiety. I am on effexor xr only 37.5 mg low dose-trying to wean off slowly so I cn get on something more mils. I sweat all night while I sleep and wake up with creases all over my body and then I think that I am retaining water-which is another sign of high BP i think? I feel like a hypochondriac! I am a mess. Not all days are this bad. I feel like a whiner typing this since there are people who have real problems to worry about and I am just creating mine! I started getting this anxiety only 5 months ago and it seems like I am dwelling on it and using it as an excuse to be lazy an let things go and relax. I need to forgive myself more and not live up to my high expectations that everything needs to be so perfect. I fell like a failure if I let things go.

Sending big hugs to you! I think you need them today. We all have a perfection streak & it seems your's is focused on your life & house. Noone can be perfect. It took me along time, but I learned to relax & NOT try to do it all. It's exhausting to even try. Can you focus on what you want out of life? Maybe change your priorities. Life is pretty short. Noone will remember you for a disorganized life or a
Thx;) You can always check out the self help book list in our *coping tips & tricks* folder below.
I wish I could come & stay with you. I mean that in all honesty. Having panic disorder for 36 years, I have seen my share of lows & know that I would have done so much better if I'd only known that others felt just like me. Since I can't be there, lean on our community for support. It has kept so many of us going. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan
Well shoot, jan beat me! thats ok though, she's good at telling us what we need to hear! :)
But, I just wanted to tell you that I feel exactly the same as you. Being a mommy is stressful, but remember our reward for all our hard work in the end: well raised, beautiful children. I can understand about all the "i feel like a hypochondriac" feelings. I'm constantly worried as well about what my symptoms could be. I'm now trying to teach myself to calm down and not look so seriously and catastrophically at them. If my doctor says I'm fine, then I'm going to have to learn to trust his expertise. You really are not making up anything. Thats the thing with Anxiety and Panic, your mind truly believes something is wrong. And if your brain senses something is wrong, then its doing its job and telling you to pay attention to that symptom. There is no quick cure for anxiety. It just takes cooperation with you and your therapist or doctor. I have heard about various side effects from medications that do include night sweats. And I agree with Jan in saying that you should really talk with your doctor about weaning you off your meds, cutting cold turkey isn't a fun ride. Just remember, you are in no way a failure. I HTH! (((HUGS)))
Ashley
Jan already said everything that comes to mind, except the coffee- yes, the strong coffee could be triggering your anxiety!
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann
Jan definitely said everything! But one thing to add to this-- I see a therapist once a month (started at once a week) and it is covered by my insurance. I pay a "specialist" co-pay on each visit, and I was approved by insurance for something like 50 visits a year.
Check with your insurance, maybe you can afford it! Our money is really tight, I could never afford someone to clean my house (though I could desperately use it! LOL) but my dh and talked about how much the therapist is necessary and helpful for me, so we agreed it was worth the $35 co pay.
Just MHO-- if that helps at all.
Karen