Weekend Blahs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Weekend Blahs
5
Sun, 09-17-2006 - 9:06pm

It seems like the blahs always come on the weekends. I do pretty well during the week when I have work to keep my busy. The evenings are about getting ready for the next day, so I can stay occupied and on task. Weekends are harder. I have all this free time to fill up and when I try to relax I find the anxiety creeping up again.

I think it's partly because during the week I don't expect dh to be around much because he'd usually be at work. But the weekends were always ours to do things together.

I've been talking to my docs about upping my dose of the Celexa. I'm still having those days where nothing seems quite real. I hate that part of anxiety. It's my least favorite symptom.

It doesn't help that I'm feeling run down and like I"m coming down with a cold. I know that I tend to get sick when I'm on the go for too long, but slowing down is hard right now. I know there are times when I feel like I can't do much because I don't want to aggrivate the anxiety, but I seem to be feeling the opposite. Stopping to rest and relax is harder right now. It doesn't make much sense to me, but my tdoc has hinted that slowing down means I have time to experience my emotions, which I have a hard time doing. I don't know. Any insight would be appreciated. I'm just getting tired from trying to figure out the best way to deal with this deployment. I get worried that I'm doing too much, and I get worried that I'm not doing enough. lol It feels like I'm struggling to find the "right" thing to do, when I know that there really isn't a right way. It's frustrating.

Then there's the whole aspect of deployment that just weirds me out. It's that we spend a year wishing the time away, because we want to be at the end of deployment so quickly. It's hard for me to know how to balance the desire for time to pass quickly with the knowledge that this a year of my life that I can't ever get back. It feels like losing a year of your life. Day to day, you keep going, but essentially, everything is on hold until dh gets back. It's weird and I don't like it. I don't quite know how to get to a place where I feel like I'm actually living and not just passing time.

I know that not many of you have experience with deployment, but I appreciate your insight and support. Anxiety sucks.

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 10:01am
(((Jess))) There's no magic bullet here. Knowing how things have been playing out, make some preparations for the blahs. Plan some fun things to do. Spend some much needed *me* time. Get a wash & set, a pedicure, a massage. make plans for a movie or lunch with friends. Buy yourself something new or like someone else(was it you?) make some decorating changes @ home. You know what's coming, just don't allow it to catch you & keep you down. We care & want to see you make it through this deployment successfully. Good luck & GBU! jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:09pm
Hi jess. I have many friends that have been through deployment. I know thats EXTREMELY hard. on the unreal feelings... IM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!!! that is a symptom not everyone gets.. but I did.. and do. Im going through it right now. I know thats a hard one to cope with. know im a friend right here that can relate..remember to bring yourself back to the now moment and know that good feelings are just around the corner. :) I know for myself, that the unreal feelings tend to keep the anxiety around longer, because we dont like the unreal feeling and get worked up over it..its a vicious circle. soothe yourself, drink some tea ( decaf) and pamper a little.( easier said that done) if you need, you can email me. I know the derealization and depersonalization ( unreal feelings) are really icky. im having a hard time with them right now too. plus im coming down with a cold too, which im sure makes it worse.. LOL..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 9:30pm

Jess, I'm sorry you are having a blah weekend:(

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 9:56pm
((((Hugs))))
Photobuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 1:19am

Thanks ladies. I have to stop and remind myself sometimes that it's okay to feel badly about dh being gone. I seem to fall into this pattern of wondering if feeling down means I'm not handling things well, that the anxiety is going to get bad again. It seems so silly to me sometimes, this expectation I have of myself. I know better, too, but there it is. lol *It's okay to be less than perfect. It's okay to have all of my emotions.*

I'm trying to just take things one day at a time right now. Planning fun things for the weekend is a great idea. I've been busy on the weekends, too, but I've not been planning for relaxation and fun, so I'll have to start doing that. Thanks for the suggestions!

Jess