I don't know...
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I don't know...
| Sun, 09-24-2006 - 7:02pm |
I'm just feeling out of sorts tonight. I know that a big part of it is that I'm missing, dh, but then the anxiety starts creeping up and it's frustrating. I am tired of always worrying about whether or not I'm going to completely lose it. This whole fear of going crazy is relatively new to me, and it's hard to deal with. I get scared that I could really go nuts, and then I get scared that maybe the anxiety will drive me to that place. Has anyone else had experience with this?

Hi,
You are not alone I have been going through this for a while now...the cycle of anxiety comes back and it's hard for me to shake it off. When I'm in it and get panic attacks well I'm in it and then when I feel good I fear it coming back and when I'm tired I fear it coming back. It's like a friggin' monster...but the trick is not to fear it and discover what is your cycle of thoughts when you get anxious and panicked. Then once you have established what triggers your anxiety and panics you can better control it but on those really off day you really think that you might go crazy. It's not fun but it can be worked out...you see I go to therapy at least once a month....when I started I was going once a week. O.K. I have been going through PPD but the anxiety is part of who I am, my Dad is the same way. It took me lots of sessions to understand my cycle of thoughts that triggered my anxiety and then how to control these and not be afraid of this cycle. It's something!!! Hope you feel better and write some more if it makes you feel better. I have started a discussion on "Has anyone ever feared a panick attack?"...you can read that discussion some interesting stories came from it.
ciao
Sonia
Yes, I so know how you feel. Been there a million times! My doc said that we (sufferers of A/P) do not go crazy no matter how much we worry about it! Remind yourself it is the anxiety/panic. You are not crazy and you are not going to go crazy. It is true. And once you believe it and can remind yourself of it, it helps a lot! Doesn't make the anxiety go away forever (unfortunatly) but it does help bunches!
Big Hugs!!!!
Laura
(((Jess))) I'm sorry you are having a bad night.
Sheri Ann
Hi Jess,
You don't know how much you make sense. I'm the same way...I tend to overanalyse stuff and every thought that comes into my head...that is how my anxiety got to bad. I'm the same way as you are. In therapy I learned a lot about that and not to analyze my anxiety. Yes sometimes it's a sign that your body is tired or even your mind is exhausted...but other times there are no stresses and you still get anxious. That is when I would freak out, if I could not explain my anxiety to myself and analyse it with a good reason for having it. So now I'm working on letting go of it and let it pass. It's not easy and even after 3 years I'm not the expert...the anxiety/panic still gets to me when I'm more vulnerable. You need to be patient...I know I know it's not easy believe me I'm there.
ciao
Sonia
Thanks for the reply and for posting about the article. I do try to keep busy. This past weekend I went to a piano trio concert and volunteered to both set up for it and do the tear down afterwards. I went to church, baked a bunch of cookies to send to dh, made some cards, cleaned my house, did all the laundry, did a little shopping, made dinner last night for myself and some friends, walked the dog.
It's more the quiet times in the evening, when the house seems so quiet and I can't reach anyone on the phone that I have the hardest time. You know, the times when dh would normally be there and we'd be spending time together. I know that it'll get easier, but sometimes it feels like that time is never coming.
I'm feeling a little more focused today. I think I really need to get a routine that I follow for the weekends, as well as the weekdays. I just seem to do better when I have a set schedule. I don't know. Maybe the pdoc is right that it's time to increase my meds. We'll see.
Jess, you are doing all the right things.
Sheri Ann
hey jess...
i totally know how you feel! this is one of my biggest fears also...a lot of times when i am feeling anxious and out of it i am petrified that i am going crazy...i worry that i will end up in a mental hospital...but ya know, after suffering from anxiety disorder for 10 years...i've never gone crazy...you'd think i'd get the point by now:) i have to keep reminding myself that...
(this is my mantra when i am feeling anxious)
"its okay to have anxiety, anxiety can't hurt me and i'm not going crazy.