He's gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
He's gone
10
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 4:53pm
Just dropped DH off at the airport.

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 5:46pm

hi jennifer,


i have no great words of wisdom, but wanted to offer my support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 5:53pm
This is expected, Jennifer. I hope you can make the best of it by keeping active & focusing on your faith. The military wives board here on iVillage offers lots of support & we will be right here, too. Can you keep in touch with him frequently? I hope so & like Sheri Ann & Jess said, sleep with his tee shirt. Sending P&PT's your way. (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 8:14pm

(((Jennifer)))

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 9:18pm

Hi Jennifer and big ((((HUGS))))


My name is Erin and my

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 9:38pm
*hugz* Jennifer- I know the exact feelings you are feeling, they will go away eventually ... it will take awhile, but you are strong and I know you will get through it! *hugz* and we are always here for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2006
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 10:15pm

I am sure this is a really difficult time for your family. Just a thought - Would it help if you had something to look forward to sooner for you and your family? Maybe a weekend away (even in your town) where you and the kids can play together - swim go to a zoo ect. I think I always do better when I have something really postive to look forward too. Let everyone relax and try to fun together! It would give you something to plan for and to try to relax? Just a thought.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 11:14pm

((((Jennifer)))) I'm right there with you hun!! You're gonna be okay and you're gonna get through this. I know exactly what you mean about it feeling like someone died. It's the worst feeling. But it's not an uncommon one to have when the guys first leave. Let yourself grieve a little. This is a huge loss. Granted, it's not forever, but it feels like it sometimes. When you start to feel overwhelmed by how long he'll be gone, just let yourself experience the sadness for a little while. It sucks, but it helps to get it out. Cry all you want. It's not a bad thing for your kids to know you cry. Just tell them that you miss daddy. They can relate. You can take care of yourself and let yourself have your emotions and take care of your kids, all at the same time.

Please be patient with yourself. Some days are gonna be really hard and some days are gonna be okay. There will be times when the day feels so normal that it won't seem like he's even gone. That's okay. There will be some days that all you want to do is hide in your room and cry, and that's okay too. There is no expectation about how you're supposed to be feeling. Take things at your own pace and you will find a way to cope with this seperation.

Adjusting to deployment often follows some of the stages of grief, which makes sense if you think about what a huge loss this is to you and your family. Don't be surprised if the next couple of weeks feel a little unreal. It won't last forever. Once you start to settle into him being gone it will get better. Be prepared to ride the emotional roller coaster, as well. It's okay to do that too. There will be good days and not so good days. But every day that goes by is one closer to him coming home, so IMO there's no such thing as a bad day. lol You might feel angry or irritable or resentful sometimes. This is okay, too. Just don't beat yourself up about it and try not to take it out on yourself or your dh. It's a normal part of the adjustment period. You will come to a place where you feel like you're better able to handle things. I can't say that it gets easier, but I will say that it gets different. You will get to a place where you feel like you can actually do this. And it's not as far away as it feels right now.

You're gonna be okay!! You're gonna get through this!! Your dh is gonna be okay and he is going to come home to you!

Just don't let other people tell you what you need to or should be doing. Take your time and give yourself the extra care that you need right now. It won't always be this scary. (((Hugs))))

If you need anything or just want to talk, please let me know. You don't have to go through this alone. You can do this!!

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 9:34am

Ladies,


I can't begin to express my gratitude for all of your support and words of encouragement.

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 6:11pm
Hey Jennifer .. I don't want you to leave this board of course LOL but have you checked out any of the "wives of ....(navy, military, etc.) boards? They could probably help out and offer more suggestions on how to handle when he's gone! Just a suggestion, don't leave us though ;) *hugz*

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 8:08am

Jennifer,


I wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


Hang in there and remember that what you are going thorough is normal. All your feelings are normal and part of the process.


~Heather

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7