I feel so pathetic, embarrassed, scared
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I feel so pathetic, embarrassed, scared
| Fri, 10-06-2006 - 8:50pm |
I'm totally embarassed about what happened to me today at the grocery store. While we were walking through the store with my husband, mother and my oldest; my most feared feeling hit me. Out of nowhere; I wasn't even anxious. All of a sudden, I felt like my heart wasn't beating, then I felt like either there was a weight on my chest or I just couldn't breathe. I got down on my knees and stretched forward, then it felt like my heart was beating harder than normal, and fluttering. I felt like I was going to pass out, of course I was terrified. My husband told me to stand up and put my hands behind my head and take a deep breath. Of course within 30 seconds to a minute of this beginning, it stopped. Leaving me confused, shaky, and very anxious that I'm going to experience this again. I can't believe this happened again; its been over 6 months sinc I've had that feeling. I feel like I've let myself down. It just troubles me so much that this thing comes on suddenly, is gone just as fast as it came, and my heart goes right back to beating like nothing ever happened; while I'm left wondering what in the heck was that, am I going to die, and shaking so hard that I can't hold a can of soup...please tell me I'm not alone feeling this. I just feel so pathetic that this happened in front of my family. The only thing out of the ordinary that I can think of was that I haven't been sleeping too great, and I've had all that stress from this whole legal ordeal with our apartment complex. So I suppose, this has been a total come from behind attack..if it truly was an attack. I'm just flat out...TERRIFIED!
Edited 10/6/2006 9:08 pm ET by porcelianblondie
Edited 10/6/2006 9:08 pm ET by porcelianblondie

hi there...
i know those horrible feelings all too well:(
(((Ashley))) That's a shame that you feel as you do. You are chemically different than others. You have a flaw in your chemistry. NOT your character. If you had diabetes & then an insulin reaction, would you feel so badly? I'm guessing not. For whatever reason, *nerve* problems aren't as acceptable to us.
Thank goodness you were with family. Panicking when alone is even scarier for me. I am sorry if your family isn't understanding/supportive. They should be. If you haven't told them about your anxiety/panic, you should. When I finally came clean & told my friends/family, it was a relief. Now, we even joke about it sometimes. They don't treat me like an invalid or anything. But, they know my limitations & don't push me if I'm feeling anxious.
This was just a small setback. Keep it in perspective. It was a blip on the radar screen of life. You have many good days ahead. Many good years. Don't allow the fear to rule your life. Everyone who posts here is attempting to find their balance. It is possible. Good luck & GBU! jan
Don't be embarassed or feel pathetic.
Sheri Ann
LOL, it made me smile, too.
Sheri Ann
Absolutely, that is such a good point.
Sheri Ann