feeling really nauseous and sick today
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| Mon, 10-09-2006 - 1:26pm |
I can't tell if this is anxiety or not. My panic attacks tend to be the slow burning kind that can last for hours, so I guess it's possible. I don't know--I've just felt increasingly queasy as the day has gone on. I knew when I got up this morning (finally--after putting it off for over an hour) that it was going to be a bad day. I swear this job is going to be the death of me. I am so incredibly miserable here. My mind isn't on my work. My work is getting sloppy, and I'm just waiting for someone to notice it. But job hunting takes a certain amount of get-up-and-go gumption that I just simply don't have in me right now. I wouldn't want to hire me either if I was a hiring manager. It's a hideous circle: job=depression, depression=no motivation to hunt for new job.
I actually had fantasies a few hours ago about just walking into my boss's office and quitting.


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Have you ever meditated by any chance??
Sheri Ann
Thanks, Jan. I am definitely one of those who manifests physical symptoms. I keep everything emotional bottled up inside me so that the only way emotions are expressed are through physical means like headaches, stomachaches, etc. I felt bad all yesterday and even worse last night when I ate.
Which, I should confess, I didn't eat or drink anything at all yesterday while I was at work. Stupid, I know. I'm sure that was part of why I was feeling queasy--duh.
This morning I was feeling okay but--sorry to be gross--threw up after I brushed my teeth. Let's just say I have a super sensitive gag reflex. So now I'm back to feeling queasy.
I don't see the doctor until Friday--I'll let you guys know what happens.
I too would like to search for a new job but I just can't even seem to find the time or energy to update my resume.
*****
Same here. I don't have the energy to do what it take to do a proper job search. At this point, I think it would be a mistake for me to take just any old random job just to get away from this one. No point in going from one miserable job to another. I want to take a job that I think I'll actually enjoy. The insurance and retirement benefits plan are too good where I am to leave this job lightly.
The only thing that helps me get through my days at work is that my work allows me to go at my own pace. So if I am feeling like poop one day and go kinda slow, I can make it up the next.
*****
I wish I could feel that secure. Unfortunately, the kind of work I do it's very easy for the boss to run a report and see how many transactions I've processed in the database and then compare that to everyone else and to see if I'm way behind. So on days like yesterday when I'm having a really hard time, I'm also anxious that my boss will discover I'm not getting enough work done. That happened back in January--I was told that I wasn't being as productive as I need to be. I'm scared it will happen again and that I'll get a reprimand put in my file or something.
Being able to know that I am not alone, also makes me feel so much better. I have had anxiety last for days on end.
more later,
Jenna
My personal file has some glitches in it too because of things that can be attributed to anxiety, but I learned from my other co-workers that no matter how good them seem, they all got files. Some much thicker than mine!!!!!
Unless you've had a pa, I don't think you can truly understand it.
Sheri Ann
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