Nasty towards others
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Nasty towards others
| Wed, 10-11-2006 - 10:18am |
It has recently come to my notice (through a series of very unhappy events) that I am not a nice person when I am anxious and around people I don't know well. I've always had a sarcastic personality, but I tend to try and reserve it just for those special people in my life who can appreciate it. I have been to a few social occasions lately that have caused me a great deal of anxiety and stress and just recently realized that I made a few offhanded not-so-nice remarks about people. Why do I do this? I don't mean them and I don't want to be the person I seem to turn into in these gatherings. Is it because of the anxiety or am I really a not nice person? I have always thought that I talk too much and say too much when I am around people, it's a nervous thing I know for sure. Now I'm just tempted to either not go anymore or just stand in a corner and not say anything. Just venting, as I am not feeling very good about myself today.

Hi,
This is a tough one, sometimes when I get nervous or feel too
much energy, I can be very sarcastic. However, I am sensitive to
other women, it's the men that I get cocky with when I'm out.
I don't think that you should sit in the corner;) I think maybe
you should start watching what you say to people. Maybe try to calm
down before going out in a crowd. Meditate.
I wish you the very best,
Ann
People who don't feel good about themselves often use sarcasm. I have done it myself. Later, when
Just because you are sarcastic doesn't make you a *bad* person.
Sheri Ann
I can relate to feeling bad and irritable when you are anxious. My hasty words seem to be mainly directed at DH; I seem to be more in control around other people...ironically, I think this is because he is so important to me and I feel "safe" showing how I really feel. I am really putting effort into controling this and when I slip up and sound off, I take the time to go back and apologize and explain how I am feeling & that I know it's not his fault or fair to him.
Believe me I know how hard it can be not to let those feelings out on others. All I can say is that recognizing how you are affecting people is a great first step and sarcasm, while it can be hurtful, is something that you can talk to the person about or apologize later if it's someone you know and can contact.
I agree, don't become a hermit, but maybe try not push your limits and party when you are particularly tired or anxious. It's better to take a breather or leave a little early to preserve a good time, then lose your comfort zone.
I've actually been doing this on our family outings...if DD starts to get too wound up or I'm just getting too anxious or cranky, I try to quietly tell DH that we need to head home or take a break. It's helped with the family harmony alot when I don't try to push into my breaking point and DH is very supportive about it.
Hugs,
Dee