Looking for some Honest Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Looking for some Honest Advice
3
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 6:28pm

Hi all. I'm a brand-new member here at iVillage, and I joined mainly because I want to know if I might want to seriously consider getting help, or if I'm seriously overreacting. More than likely it's the latter, but… I need a few honest, objective opinions.

I'm going to try and be as honest as I can, so here goes. School is really getting harder lately, and my worries are escalating. There's a ton of pressure on me to succeed, to get the right grades, take the right classes… basically, I live in a highly competitive environment. I find myself unable to force myself to do my work or to get my mind off what I want to be doing, and I know that some of that is just life; you don't enjoy what you're doing, you don't want to do it. However, sometimes it'll get to the point where I can't seem to do something and will literally break down about it. I feel so scared of failure sometimes that I totally freak out and can't work at all. I'll talk myself into emotional circles, first why I feel bad, then why it doesn't matter, then why can't I make the bad feelings go away if I know why they're there, and around and around. It's really frustrating, but I feel like I have to trivialize my emotions, like I shouldn’t be allowed to feel bad, but I do, so I just feel worse.

I guess one of the biggest things that's bothering me, though, is that I don't have a realistic view of myself. I honestly feel like I can't allow myself to recognize that I've done something right: getting a B is simply not good enough. It's like I get gratification from telling myself I'm doing poorly. If I feel I've done poorly, I'll exaggerate it; if I feel I might have done well, or even if I ultimately get a good grade, I'll still say I'm not doing well enough.

There's more to it than that, but it's hard to put into words, and I'm not even sure if what I've written isn't just another exaggeration. Right now I'm trying to avoid "getting help" as much as possible, so if any of you have ever felt like this and can suggest a way to deal with it, please tell me. Thank you.

~muse

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 8:48pm

Hi & welcome!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 11:55pm

Hello, Muse! Nice to have you stop by. @ the top of this page, click on the link to read more about anxiety disorders. We aren't professionals, so we cannot give you a diagnosis. Your post did not contain the signs & symptoms of what we consider anxiety disorders.


You do seem stressed & perhaps seeing the school counselor would help you to recognize this pressure you feel. Here are the links to two boards that may offer you more help.


Self Esteem Support: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhselfesteem

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 10:22am

Hi there. I have been there myself. I'm 38 and just finished getting a one-year certificate in college that took me 7 years to get.