i'm so tired of being anxious:(
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| Tue, 10-17-2006 - 11:31am |
hi everyone,
i woke up this morning feeling anxious again...everytime i think i make some progress its always met w/a few steps back...
i've been in this "relapse" for 5.5 months now...and i'm soooo tired of being anxious...one of my fears is that i'll always feel like this, or get worse...and i'm really starting to believe this as its been soooo long and i'm not sure if i've made any progress...
i'm 6.5 months pregnante and i'm terrified of having the baby and being a mom again...i can't admit this to anyone, but to be honest with you all...i don't want this baby because of my anxiety and i feel like i can't be a good mom...i feel horrible that i feel this way...i wanted this baby sooo badly before my anxiety hit, and now...well, i'm terrified of him....i'm scared i won't be a good mom because of my anxiety...
i know this is my anxiety talking...but thats all that seems to be talking these days...its like i'm a walking blob of anxiety...
every day is such a battle...i'm sick of fighting this fight...
i'm doing relaxation techiqunes, seeing a psychatirist, taking meds, seeing a therapist, journaling...everything i've learned/read/heard that will help alleviate anxiety and i'm still an anxious mess....
i feel like this is never going to let up....
anyone else ever felt this hopeless? advice/suggestions/comments welcome.

(((Heather))) Sorry to hear the anxiety continues. I'm not trying to whitewash things, but I believe that all of us have faced childbirth with doubts about our mothering. @ this time, when you feel so down & anxious, is your perceptions of what *might* happen, realistic? I don't think so. When I suffered from depression in the past, I always imagined the worst case scenario.
For now, you are doing all the right things. Try to remember that this is a chemical imbalance & it's being made worse by the hormonal changes of pregnancy. This is not a true picture of you. Believe me, you are NOT a blob! You're a person of worth & value. You will not get worse. You will either feel much improved after the baby is born or your dr. will change your meds to something more effective after the baby arrives. You are doing the best you can! Good luck! jan
Sheri Ann
thank you ladies for the support.
i'm just struggling right now...i'm hoping that this will pass soon.
I have the same problem. I'm terrified of having children because I know there's no turning back. I get anxiety thoughts of "what if I wanted to run away?", or "what if I didn't want my own child?"
Especially if you have anxiety/panic.
My ds and I moved and it was a little "hairy" at first, we love our new place.
It is HOME.
I am so proud of myself and him for having the courage to do it.
Think of the positives.
You will be together.
Do you like to decorate?
Throw yourself (not literally, lol) into packing, and maybe shopping for new things or new to you to make your new house "yours".
Soon it will seem like "HOME".
And while you and your b/f are a couple it is okay to have some space for yourself.
Just let him know you may need/want it and it isn't a reflection on him.
Go soak in the tub, take a walk to get comfortable and familiar with your new neighbourhood, not necessarily the neighbours.
I love going for walks.
It is great exercise and helps to battle depression.
Do you have pets?
If not maybe consider getting one, now you are getting ready to move into a house you and your b/f have just bought.
A dog can be a great companion to take for walks and exploring your new surroundings and you will never be Alone.
We have cats and sometimes just knowing they are there helps me when I have to leave my ds ALONE. (he is fine with it and is old enough)
He feels Safe now and is less anxious because we live in a secure building.
Just hope this helps a little.
Take it one day at a time, little baby steps.
I am excited for you, but I do understand how overwhelming it may seem.
Sometimes it is the anticipation, it can be scarey fearing the unknown.
Take care.
(((Heather))) I think the positive thinking is a good step, but I think you need to take it one step further & think about something totally different, not the anxiety.
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann
(((Heather))) I don't have any experience with pregnancy or motherhood, so I can't speak to those concerns, but I can say that I can relate to the feeling that the anxiety is never going to go away. This last relapse with the anxiety has been like that for me. I think it's a natural reaction to have when you have the ongoing anxiety. It starts to feel like it's never going to go away. But realistically, the anxiety is continuing because the stressful situation is continuing. It will get better. I think that any time we are in transitional stages in our lives we're more prone to anxious thoughts and feelings. I know that's what I'm going through, and perhaps that's what you're experiencing as well. Hopefully, once the baby comes and you're able to fully adjust to the new addition your anxiety will calm down.
You can do this!! It sucks right now, but it won't always be this hard. You're doing all of the right things, and you will get to a better place. ((hugs))
Jess