Another Dr appointment today

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Another Dr appointment today
8
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:23pm

Hi everyone,

Yesterday I went to the psychologist and I felt great. Today I had to go to the psychiatrist and I feel awful now. For one, I had to go by myself because it was to close to the time my kids get off so my wife could not come. Also, it was like 20 miles away and I had no real idea where I was going. Aftr I got there and was in the waiting room I got seriously panicy. I thought that I did not belong there and with the couple of people that were in the room with me. All I wanted was my wife to be there with me so I wouldn't be alone. I finally got back with the dr and he just seemed kind of creepy. I don't know if that makes sense but I kept getting the thought that he was (struggling right now to find the word)creepy (again) or I don'r know. His office was kind of dark and I kept having scary thoughts when he was talking to me. I was in the middle of an attack too.
He ended up prescribing me Paxil and Xanax, which of course I am terrified to take. I have been on Paxil before and I have tried Xanax (for fun back in the dumb days). Now I am at home afterthe 4-5 hours that it took between travelling, appointment, and prexcription, and I feel totally freaky. I can almost start crying and worst of all I have noone to talk to. My wife can handle some of the stuff but she just told me this "sissy crap" is the stuff she can't take. :(
I already know that I am going to call out sick to work tomorrow and then I will have to be looked down upon for doing so. I am going to see the spychologist on a regular basis and I have to go back to the psychiatrist on Halloween but I don't want o go there on a regular basis. I don't know if it was just the thought of being in that kind of place or what.
Oh yeah the psychiatrist, to my knowledge, thinks that I have anxiety and depression and possibly ADD.
I am so scared right now and feel hopeless and lost. My feelings (panic or whatever) have been coming ang going and it is making me feel like total crap. And again, I have noone to talk too :(

Thanks for listening and take care,
Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:51pm
Rob WOW!! Seeing a doc while having panic is tough!!
I would have said something to him. Pamic can lead to all
sorts of observations one might not have otherwise!!
I often when really stressed feel out of myself--- that is
really strange also! THIS IS NOT SISSY STUFF!!! I have to say
I handled childbirth three times and I would say this is harder
to stand!! I take both PAXIL AND XANAX I have to tell you
at the time I started the meds -YEARS AGO- I was basically scared of everything!!
After 3 weeks time I was ready to go FACE THE FEARS!! I did cognitive
therapy and was soon driving all over the place and enjoying life!
I know it is hard to imagine because I NEVER THOUGHT ANYTHING WOULD HELP ME!
BUT it did!! =0) PANIC DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE WEAK!! Panic is AWFUL!!
The xanax will help a lot to relax you the Paxil has a better effect
making your thoughts more logical!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!! Let us know how
you are doing!! Take care! Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 9:09pm

(((Rob))) Why are you calling into work tomorrow?

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 9:10pm

Judy, you are such an inspiration to all of us :)


Hugs,

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Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 10:32pm

Thanks for the kind words. I am glad that the Paxil & Xanax have worked for some. It makes it much easier for me. I have to call out sick because my days off were Tuesday and today. Plus I just had to yank a tooth out of my daughters mouth because it was so loose that it was bothering her. So I have to get up at 2:30 AM and it is now 10:30 PM so I am definitely calling in.
In fact, I am going to place the call now take the meds and hopefully go to sleep. I can't begin to tell you all how grateful I am to have you here to support, encourage, and listen. It means a lot to me.

Take care,
Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 12:44am

(((Rob))) Having panic attacks for 36 years, I can say it is awesome that you made it through the drive, the appointment & everything else. For me, it would be terrifying to return to the dr. NOT because he was creepy or that I was discombobulated not knowing where I was going

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 7:40am
Check in and let us know how it went with the meds!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 10:22am

Wow I know exactly what you are going thru. I am going thru it right now, my husband understands what I am going thru and helps thru it. Your wife needs to learn more about it and help you. I AM SO SCARED TO TAKE MY MEDS!! I have been dealing with this for about 2 months now and i still cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. I go to therpy today and the whole hour is going to be spent trying to talk me into my meds, because I know at the brain level it will really help, it is me subconsious level that isnt letting me because I think I am going to die. Everyone on this site has give helpful tips on how to get thru this, so read the posts. I can tell you that you cant die from this, and it will get better with time. Mine have calmed down a little, enough to function, I took FMLA from work, so I can start my meds, and I still havent done it. Take some leave from work if you have been there long enough, it will help.

nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 12:21pm

I took the meds last night and I slept great except fort he fact that my work called me 2 or 3 times because the person I spoke to the night before never put me down on the sick log. I woke up and felt so groggy (but it was a good feeling) like I slept so good that I wanted more sleep. It took me a few minutes to get adjusted and walking upstairs was kind of hard lol
Anyway, I felt good until about an hour ago when my old department manager called me and kind of gave me a hard time about calling in calling me a sissy (but not in such nice terms). He then told me that I was going to get employee of the month until this happened. I told him that it was kidney stones and that I had to take percocet which is why I couldn't come in last night. I will take my Xanax in tomorrow and show them that too and explain that the percocet is for night and the Xanax (since it is the time released kind) is for the day to help me deal with my "kidney stone" pains.
The thin is I want to move up to work but being the way I am makes me thin it will be impossible and I will be stuck being a pee-on forever. So now I am feeling totally guilty about calling out that I even offered to work 6 days next week to make up for today and hope that they won't count it as a sick call.
Oh and get this. While I am talking to the manager he tells me that the store manager wants to talk tome but it is really the girl that I have been having the whole flirting thing with!!! It was weird and felt uncomfortable.
Now I feel bad hat I called out and know that I should have just went in and waited until today to start my meds/ I did have to pull my daughters tooth and that happened around 10:30 but still. I feel like a bad employee. And I wouldn't mind FMLA just for the days when I feel that I can't get to work but won't my employer than know what is actually wrong with me? I am too ashamed and embarassed to allow that to happen. So while I dson't feel panic and/or anxiety right now I do feel guilt for calling in sick when they depend on me so much.

Take care,
Rob

P.S. Made a new thread for this too.