Long novella with upbeat ending :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Long novella with upbeat ending :)
6
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:58pm

Here’s the good news, I’m much calmer today and more like my old self. I was able to see a psychiatrist yesterday and my old neurologist too. I just couldn’t wait until Oct. 31 to see that other psychiatrist that I spoke to on Thursday. My neurologist who I hadn’t seen since 1999 assured me he doesn’t think my epilepsy is coming back but that it might be hormonal, peri-menopausal, and/but mostly anxiety. The psychiatrist was wonderful. We spoke for an hour ($500!!!) but well worth the money if this does the trick. He prescribed Celexa and Klonopin (sp?). I’m starting the Celexa on a very low dose, 5 mg Monday – Thursday, and then 10 mg for the next week and we’ll see how it goes, possibly up it to 20 mg after that. The knolopin is before bed.

On Friday I just couldn’t leave the house. I had to call up my mommy (I felt so stupid) and she came to the rescue. I spent most of the day with my mom at her house and called up my various doctors trying to get some meds or appointments or anything else to help me calm down. The psychiatrist said that the dosage of the Effexor my M.D. gave me was too strong and she would not have known enough to prescribe a much smaller dosage. I was probably climbing the walls on Friday due to the Effexor from Thursday.

My boss being the super guy that he is told me to take off as much time as I need because I have up to 50 accumulated sick days that I haven’t used over the past 10 years that I’ve worked here so that brought a tear to my eye. He told me he knows me well enough that if I’m not feeling right then he wants me to do whatever it takes to get back to my old self. That really helped to hear.

Over the weekend I spoke with my close friends, 5-6 of them either called or e-mailed me with nice thoughts of support. Again, the tears welled up in my eyes, even now as I’m typing this it’s happening again. The same responses came from some of my parent’s friends. It’s amazing how many people we know that have a similar problem or someone in their family has this problem – panic attacks. My mom’s childhood friend is the one who referred me to this psychiatrist.

The bottom line the psychiatrist and I came to is this, it’s most probably peri-menopause that jump-started some anxiety that’s been building up inside of me, possibly with a side of depression. My boss’s dad passed away in July, an uncle passed away in August, a non-blood related cousin the same age as me passed away in September (he was only 45!), I just finalized my last will and testament AND my dad just decided to retire in December. What it added up to is my parents aren’t as young as they used to be, never will be too and I’m fearful of them passing eventually. They’re both very healthy and active but still, that thought is what I think caused the panic attacks. All of these things we believe were running amuck in my subconscious coupled with the possibility of serotonin levels being off and I just couldn’t handle life as I knew it. I wanted to crawl out of my skin on Friday, Saturday too. I couldn’t even read a magazine; it was like too much information/overload.

Last night I took my first dose of the Celexa and Klonopin. I drove myself all day yesterday with mom as my co-pilot but at least I drove and got back some of my confidence. Today I went to the gym, then drove to work and I’m feeling more like myself. I’m sure the meds haven’t helped dramatically overnight but the combination of knowing they will be working and positive self talk, etc., probably helped. Hopefully the combination of the two will get me back to my old self.

Thanks everyone for all of your support, well wishes and advice. I will check back here again as the meds are taking effect to let you know how I’m doing. I even have back my appetite back! I think I lost 3-4 pounds over the past two weeks from not having an appetite so this makes me feel better today too.

Much lover and thanks,
Bennie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 1:35pm
I love happy endings! What a great success story. I'm glad everything is moving in the right direction.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 1:58pm

I just hope I'm not tooting my own horn to prematurely.

Bennie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:19pm

(((Bennie))) I am so glad to hear that things are working out!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:31pm

Hi Bennie,

Glad to hear that things are getting better for you. How wonderful that you had so much support from family and friends! I think that can be the *best* medicine too.

Hugs,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 9:30am
You have some awesome resources, Bennie. I am happy to hear how positive things are for you now. Keep on keeping on. (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:26am

Thanks to all of you gals,

Yes, I'm very lucky. My parents were great and my friends were too calling me up to chat and such. The really amazing thing is how many people are affected in this same way. I think once my parents spoke to a few friends and acquaintences and heard them say something similar about their kid or sister or in-law it made them calm down a little. My parents are pretty cool for being in their 70's so at least I didn't get any sort of attitude from them about 'snapping out of it' or something like that.

I agree, the Psychiatrist cost more than I anticipated but if he treats me correctly and I resume my normal life if not a better one then it's okay. I just submitted the paperwork to my company's medical insurance plan so I'll be curious to see how much gets covered. Even half of it will be fine with me.

Thanks again for all of your support. I'll check back and let you know how I'm doing.
Bennie

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