HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
HELP!!!
3
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 11:52pm

I am so angry! For the last four chats I have tried to get on but neither of my parents computers will let me on to it. Really bad time for this to happen since I just moved. The move went fine except my dad lost my futon mattress on the highway. Oh and now I’m living at home with six other people. I don’t have enough money to get my own place.

Good news is I have a doc appointment on the 14th to get more meds and have gotten some samples to tide me over until then.

I started my job and now I’m finishing up my second week. It’s been nerve racking. Imagine working in a lock down unit at an adolescent treatment center, on the worst cottage. Every time I tell people I’m the new therapist they get this look on their face like what have you gotten yourself into. Some have said things like “Ohhhh, good luck”, how is that supposed to make me feel. To top it all off, I’m beginning to think that my work supervisor does not like me. She seems annoyed with me when ever I talk to her. I have a history of thinking that people feel that way, I know its pretty bad that a counselor can’t read people to well, but I’m afraid I am right that she is annoyed with me. I feel that I’m not catching on to things very quickly, but they told me to take as much time as I need. I was confident that I could do this job, but now I’m not so sure. I feel really uncomfortable around her, like I’m very incompetent. I would talk to her about it, but that makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about doing that, what if I’m wrong or if I do and I continue to feel this way it would just be even more awkward. There is another woman who I have talk to a lot. She’s been a great support so far, but I still feel weird bringing it to someone else. She talks to my supervisor so I’d be worried she would say something. I’m also worried because I don’t want people to realize that I don’t think I am as good as I made myself out to be in the interview. I don’t feel that I am a good counselor, maybe sometimes. I just feel so stupid…I wish I could stop feeling this way.

I was also very depressed because I realized I am working 40 hours a week and I don’t feel I have time for anything else. Most people work that much and have lives why don’t I? The only two friends that live remotely close to me are both an hour away. I am such a wreck. The only good thing is that all the issues I have to deal with, with my clients are not very similar to my own so I do feel I might be able to do some good. But what do I do? I feel so stupid when I’m at work and I see my supervisor, or hers, or even his. I just go up the chain. When I’m in training they always ask me questions because I am the only therapist in the training. Most of the time I can’t come up with a good answer in time and just tell them I don’t know. Everyone is eventually going to think that I don’t know what I am doing.

Why do I always choose the hardest things to do?

I will continue to try to get on the chats. I feel bad that I’m a counselor and I’m coming here to complain. It’s always so much easier to help others than yourself. Don’t think that all counselors are as neurotic as I am. Hope see some of you in chat if I can ever get on. Thank for listening to me and any advice you can give.

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 3:17pm
We all need help, Jessica. No matter what our profession. You have experienced some major life changes. Allow yourself some *me* time & don't be so hard on yourself. Not only are you getting your bearings @ the new job, but everyone including your supervisor are learning to adjust to you. Take it a day @ a time. Keep it in a positive light. You will regain your balance & things will be right as rain. Sending PT's your way. (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 7:26pm
Jessica You are new to the job! GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!!
You don't know this woman and reading people is tough to do!!
If you feel you are not helpful then don't work there---
I imagine that you will see that you are! You have to be
confident in yourself and what you are telling your clients to
be effective!! I wish you well! Judy PS sometimes it is hard to
get into chat and you have to keep trying! ARGH!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 7:28pm

(((Jessica))) It sure sounds like this new job is stressing you out. While some people might think the job isn't one that they would want, you might be just the right person for the job.

Sheri Ann