something else my therapist said

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
something else my therapist said
5
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 10:37am

Tell me honestly what you think about this, and then later I'll post my thoughts. I'm curious to see your honest opinions. I promise that what I say in this post is accurate and not in any way embellished or exaggerated.


If you read my post yesterday, then you know the therapy session was weird and she broached the subject of whether I should take a break from therapy. I didn't tell you all this next part because I needed some time to think about it and process it.


After she said that she thought it might be in my best interest to take a break, she asked me what I was thinking and I said, truthfully, that I get edgy if I go more than one week without a session (you guys know this). Her reply was that maybe it would be "good" for me to get edgy AND for my anxiety (yes, she specifically used the word anxiety!) to go up because it might spark me into action to make some changes in my life.


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Registered: 11-22-2005
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 10:50am
Hhhhmmm.. That's interesting and I think on some level it can be true.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 11:03am

While I know it is really upsetting for you to have your therapist suggest a break, maybe she is doing this to get you to take action. There are a number of options - you can find another therapist - if you didn't feel like you 'clicked' anyway, this might be a good idea. Do you feel like you're making progress?

Do you journal? If so, it can be really helpful to look back and see where you were then compared to where you are now. I am sure you have made progress on some levels, and maybe you need to focus on some of the little successes instead of looking at the big picture. Sometimes I find the big picture so overwhelming. It's easier to break things down into smaller tasks.

If you are going to take a break, make a plan for what your next step is. Do you want to find another therapist? What about a support group?

I know that I find it most helpful when people hold me accountable - they don't just listen to me, but they give me concrete things to do and then follow up to see if I've done them. My old therapist used to do this, and I also have a mentor at work who does the same thing. It is very easy to get stuck in a rut, which can lead to inertia and depression.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 11:31am

Hi Laura,

I just read your thread from yesterday, so to respond to that one. I agree with everyone who advised changing therapists. I just started therapy myself, so don't have a lot of experience with that yet, but I am taking Psychology classes at school and what I was told was that therapist are people too, they're supposed to stay neutral and unbiased, but sometimes they do have issues or feel frustrated that they can't help a client and we were taught that then the therapist is supposed to refer the client to another therapist. I haven't heard of advising a client to stop therapy, especially if they still have a problem or anxiety.

As for anxiety sparking change, well, I know my anxiety often drives me to do a lot of work that I would otherwise be likely to procrastinate about. Sometimes, I get into an anxious "meltdown" and just am like: we are getting this stuff all done, I am making this decision now and that's how it is because I can't stand this anymore! Unfortunately, I don't believe that the emotional upset to me and my family is worth the extra push to get stuff done, that's why I'm in therapy.

As for change, there have some huge changes in my life over the last ten years, intensified in the last three. I can honestly say that some of the biggest, hardest decisions for me make regarding big changes, I was better off and relieved afterwards. But because a lot the changes were negative life events (like health related) beyond my control...it was a lot harder for me to take action then just hang on. It was like, I was in such a defensive mode against the negative change, that I still find it hard to take chances and work on positive change.

For example:I have some big decisions preying on my mind now about where to transfer next year, what program should I go into, whether we should move, how we should handle our finances in all this. It is a huge part of my repetitive thoughts recently and really driving a lot of anxiety. I've even been dreaming about some of this. I know it would help to just make the decisions now, but I am so worried about making the wrong one or something else unforseen going wrong that I'm doing all the set-up for several options (which is actually extra work & expense) and then going to make my decision next spring, but I'll still be obcessing about it until then.

I wouldn't give up on therapy, especially if it is helping you.

Hugs,
Dee

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Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 3:02pm

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 9:42pm
Laura, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.

Sheri Ann