Hi everyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Hi everyone
14
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 7:22pm

Hi all,

Just wanted to say hi. Things have been flying by pretty fast since I last talked to you all. Let's see, I already mentioned that I have been put on Paxil & Xanax. I have been feeling so much better! I have felt much more at ease, more confident, and more outgoing...which are things that I am normally not. Well today, particularly this afternoon (and now) I have been felling a bit "jittery". I think it is because I am getting sick. My daughter has been sick for the past few days with a fever and vomiting. Plus my appetite has diminished a bit. So of course I am beginning to worry that my problems are going to come back and the scares me.
I also have an issue at work that I am embarrassed to talk about but know that I have to get it off my chest. And I did discuss this with my therapist as well. There is a girl at work that I find extremely attractive (not the flirting girl). Outside of finding her cute I never paid any thought of it. However in the past week or so I have found out that we have many things in common and I have found that to be even more attractive to me. I mean to the point where I have made sure we crossed paths and conversed. Obviously the problem is that I am married but I can't get her out of my head. I feel like a scum over this even though I have not done anything really.
One positive thing to come out of it is that I have begun writing again which I have not done in years and it feels good to do so.
So right now I am just totally confused about everything. Has anyone been in a similar position? And can you please offer me some advice.

Take care,
Confused Rob

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
In reply to: mrmet
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:54am

Rob,

Well im glad to see you are feeling better, and the meds are working for you. However if you feel jittery it could be this emotional twist you have going on in your life right now and it is making the anxeity spike. one of my favorite quotes is "Life is like a box of chocolate you never know what your gonna get" But we do however get to choose what we want. I agree with everyone else you can still find other people attractive but acting on it is different. I remember you saying your wife didnt understad what was going on, does she now? maybe you feel some kind of anger to her and you think talking to this other woman is helping you, when really it's not. I have been married once I was young, now I am divorced and engaged and could never imagine life witout him. Have you thought about what would happen to you and what you would LOSE? many people dont think about that and only think about what is going to happen with this new person. I am a person who cant stand people who cheat, so before you do it maybe you should talk to your wife and see if you can fix your marriage, if you both agree that things cant be fixed or you dont want to invest the time, then please leave her BEFORE YOU CHEAT. I would hate my husband if he cheated. please think about every thing before you make any kind of decesion on it. You have a wife and children tha love you very much. Good luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
In reply to: mrmet
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 2:26pm

I agree that you might be trying to create a distraction to ease your anxiety, but in doing so are increasing it. My 'distraction' is food.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
In reply to: mrmet
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 3:52pm

This is actually a reply to everyone.

Thank you all for your advice. I just got back a visit with my T and I think I figured out that while I am physically attracted to this girl I am not seeking a relationship. At least I don't think so. I am very much in love with my wife and our marriage is great. I think I just have a little crush and don't know how to deal with it properly. I am working on it though. I have never cheated on anyone before and don't plan on starting now. I do like the advice that I should give my wife more attention when I think of the other girl. I am working through it all though and will let you all know how it goes.

Thanks so much and take care,
Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: mrmet
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 7:14pm

I am happy that things seem to be working out for you.

Sheri Ann

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