Does a mother ever?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Does a mother ever?
11
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 8:26am

Does a Mother ever get to the point she doesn't worry about her "baby". That she accepts the fact her baby is an adult, capable of making adult decesions?

Mine has my anxiety up today. Her husband came into town unexpectivly last night. She left with him and we haven't heard from her since. I keep telling myself it's alright she's an adult, but she's a Mother, doesn't she understand I still worry about her.

Chest is tight just needed to vent. It isn't good to keep such thoughts bottled up inside.

Keitha

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 9:50am

I don't know the answer to this one, Keitha. My personal experience tells me that no mom ever stops worrying about her kids. I have a hard time letting go with my youngest because even though she's an adult, her untreated bipolar causes her to make very poor decisions. Sometimes when

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 11:58am

Keitha,

Since my DD is still a "baby", it's hard for me to imagine the letting go part yet..though I know I'll have to someday.

Sometimes it's hard for grown kids too, I know when I was in my twenties and my Mom was dating again, I was the one who worried and felt rejected when she was with a really controlling, potentially abusive personality bf and cut contact with her children.

I think at a certain point, you can just offer support and wait for the chips to fall, it does suck.

Hugs,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 12:34pm
:) Your baby is always your baby... even when they are forty, they will still be your baby. That's just the way that it is. I guess at some point we'd have to just accept that you teach your children the best that you can, and hope that they make good decisions for themselves... we can't control everything (sometimes it feels like we can't control ANYTHING) but you can always be there for support when it is needed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 11-04-2006 - 5:53pm

(((Keitha))) No, moms never stop worrying.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 10:16am

Sheri I knew you and Jan would understand this question fully. She did stop by yesterday and they took the boys. I let them go very reluctantly as after all this is his boys also. Now I'm really worried, did I do the right thing. Anxiety so high this weekend I'm feeling all those anxiety symptoms coming on at any minute. Hands are shaking, tightness in chest, the pit in my stomach, the lump in my throat. I keep telling myself there is nothing I can do to change this situation, just accept it. But what kind of Mother would I be if I did that?

Keitha

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 10:45am
I am so sorry, Keitha. This must be quite a blow. My T&P's are with you. I will hope for the best, just as you're surely doing. You have done the best you could in raising her. We all do the best we can with what we have. Your mothering skills are NOT @ issue here. It hits so close to home for me, that I don't have any words of wisdom. Just keep on, keepin' on. What's a mother to do? (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 12:56pm

Just an update for you all. DD and grandsons are home. Don't know what's happening to husband I just want him to head on back to Indiana. But DD says he's gonna look for housing down this way. I know I need to butt out, but that is so hard, when you see the same pattern as before. No change just more heartache and pain. And when does enough become enough? Finding myself hurt, as mothers we only want better for our children then what we've gone through.

Keitha

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 9:58pm

(((Keitha))) I know exactly how you feel.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 8:38am

I'm so sorry about your daughter.

 

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:02am
Thx, Amy. I feel very burdened with the situation. I feel that family/friends no longer want to hear about it. Noone wants to hear bad news, day after day. But, that's exactly what I face): jan


 

 


 



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