Help with Anxiety and Panic Disorder
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 11-08-2006 - 3:31pm |
This is the first time I have ever posted anything on a message board. I have been struggling from "anxiety" since the birth of my last child 5 1/2 years ago. AT that time, they diagonosed me with GERD; however, taking all the PPIs and other prescriptions didn't work. I have also tried every herbal remedy imaginable.
3 months ago, I hit rock bottom. I felt as if I were going to die of a heart attack every single day. I missed work, couldn't take care of my children like I should, and laid in bed all day thinking about my death. It got to the point that I was putting on good pajamas at night because I didn't want to be found dead in my old ones. I would wake up in my sleep in pain and sick just knowing that death was iminent. I was vomiting and also had diarrhea all the time. I have had 3 EKGs, a colonoscopy, endoscopy, stool samples, ultrasound, x-rays, and numerous blood tests. All comes back that I have mild GERD (reflux) and panic disorder. I started with Zoloft which made me feel like a zombie. I now take Xanax XR which seems to help; however, I still have physical discomfort (stomach aches, head aches, body pains, and of course.. HEARTBURN). I miss my old self. I am a people lover and I no longer experience joy in the little things that made me happy.
My marriage is great although I don't know how much more my poor husband can take. My job is semi-stressful and our custom home that we have building for the past year is just about done.
Does anyone else feel this way. I truly feel like I'm going crazy. Please Help!

Pages
Hi Cassie, thanks for your reply.
I was wondering what the therapist did for you, and what the first appointment is like? I also wonder what they can do for me, that I cannot do for myself. I just fear that there will be more medication I have to take.
Another thing that frightenend me was a write up about SSRI's. I am on paxil, and there is apparently a serotonin disorder that you can get from taking these medications for so long, so now I'm worried about that.
I am just on an emotional worry rollar coaster that I didn't even want to be on. I just hope that this obsessive worry and panic will soon subside.
Take care,
Amy
Thx so much for posting your thoughts. You are a real inspiration to those who are learning new ways to cope with anxiety disorders. Please bookmark us to your favorites. Keep in touch. We appreciate your participation. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Hi, Amy! It's nice to have you in our community. You are NOT alone. Many of us can relate to how you feel. There was a time when my panic attacks were so frequent & severe that my life was totally doom & gloom. I was convinced that death would meet me @ every corner. Countless times each day I would take my pulse to make sure I was still living. I was afraid to tell anyone or seek treatment. There came a time when I
Hi Jan, thanks for your reply and welcoming me.
You put me a little more at ease about the serotonin disorder, but of course, I worry myself crazy about what these medicines are doing to my body. I also wonder what it is that causes this disorder in the first place.
As for my family and friends, they are aware, but since they don't know much about it, I feel that they aren't the best to talk to. My parents never have understood, and their usual reply is, "What do you have to worry about? I don't understand why you are worrying so much, you think you have problems?" That is why I try not to talk about it so much with them because it's hard to understand if you have never had the problem.
As for my friends, they listen but it's almost dry for the responses. They just have that "wow" attitude, but they are there when I need it.
I was doing ok for a while, but I went to my doctor about being on Paxil for six years, and I was conserned if it was healthy. She then asked me if I was feeling depressed, I told her I was feeling that way, just didn't have much ambition to do anything I used to enjoy. That is when she prescribed Cipralex for me, and said that it would give me more energy. After four weeks of taking this medication, I felt that I was worse than I had ever been. I finally got back in to see her, and she then put me back on Paxil and increased my dosage from 20mg's to 30mg's. I have currently been back on Paxil for about two weeks now, and I am still having the obsessive worry, anxiety and panic.
It seems that the only thing that will calm me down enough that I feel like I am close enough to think rationally, is alcohol. I worry about that consumption as well, and I have also lost my appetite. I have now lost 15 pounds, which isn't that critical considering I was 30 or more pounds overweight in the first place. I wish I could just find peace, and that life was not so scary for me. All the what if questions roll around in my head, and the purpose of life and death have been troubling me. I think that the death of my boyfriend's father has pushed the reality of death upon me even more, now I am forced to deal with it. I just hate living like this, and hope someday to not have this feeling constantly lingering inside of me.
Well, thanks for listening and I look forward to meeting everyone, and hope to find some needed support.
Amy.
Hi Amy, I'm glad you found our community :)
Sheri Ann
Hi Sheri Ann, thanks for your reply.
I have about 4 drinks per night, which I wish I wouldn't do. I am also aware that it is not recommended to drink while on these medications. I also have Clonazepam to take for the anxiety, but I know that your body can become immune to this medication, so I really do not want to take it unless I absolutely have to. I just hope that I do see a difference with the increased dosage, this is becoming unbearable. I feel very depressed and I just don't want to come to work in the morning. I feel seperate from society. I feel sorry for my boyfriend because he doesn't get the attention he used to and I just hope that it isn't hurting his feelings. I have explained to him what is going on, I just hate talking about it because I feel embarrassed.
My job is very boring, I am here 5 days a week for 10 hours per day. I am alone in this scalehouse and that doesn't help matters either because it's almost impossible to keep busy. I just wish there was a way to turn off these thoughts, and stop the anxiety and panic. I have a couple books, which haven't really helped because I find it hard to read about it without having anxiety.
I am glad that I have an appointment with a psychiatrist, and I am hoping that he/she can help me cope with this, and give me some comfort and understanding of this disorder.
Thanks for listening!
Amy.
Hi Amy!
Therapy is going well for me. It's nice to have a third party listen objectively. It's also nice to have someone who knows about this disorder put your mind at ease by explaining how it works and that you are not crazy. It has greatly helped me with my panic attacks. My father in law passed away unexpectantly the week before last so our family has been on an emotional roller coaster and I haven't had a panic attack yet. I have been taking Xanax XR and I think it makes me dizzy so I would love to get off the meds and learn to deal with it on my own.
If you haven't tried therapy, I do recommend it. You need to find someone that you're comfortable with though. I had to try a few before I found the right one.
Good Luck Amy!
Hey, thanks for wishing me luck!
I still haven't received a call from the psychiatrist, but my doctor did tell me it would take a while for them to get back to me. I'm doing better now, I think that paxil is helping me get back on my feet. I haven't had a panic attack in a couple of weeks, but of course I still have the anxiety lurking behind the shadows and I'm constantly checking up on what I'm thinking and feeling.
I was hoping to talk to a therapist. If I don't receive a call by Friday, I will have to call them to see if they received my referral. I'm trying to just focus on today, and have an "oh well" attitude. It's hard but I keep pushing that thought on myself. It's weird because I say to myself, "oh well" then my mind is like, but "what if, what if" then I just tell myself to shut up. Good thing no one can hear my thoughts lol~
Thanks for the reply and I'm very happy that your therapy is going well! I hope it continues to help you!
Amy
Thank you very much for your support. We were very close and his death was sudden and very painful for our whole family (especially my two boys). We will survive however, and I think it may have even brought us a little closer together as a family. I believe that he is in a better place now even though we will miss him terribly.
I think therapy is helping me to cope with it. Thank goodness ! :-)
Pages