Update on DH situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Update on DH situation
7
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 8:43pm
I can't go to anyone else about my situation. So you ladies are my only means of support. Talked to DH again today, and yet again we are not speaking. Oh...and..on top of that he's threatened divorce. He says that if I don't change, he doesn't want to deal with it? What do I need to change?! I THOUGHT I was doing a good job. Evidently I don't give him anything..he says I never give him any rope, and when I do I hang him with it. I thought I gave him everything he wanted, I stayed home even though i love to work, I've kept the house clean and food on the table. I moved across the country suddenly and didn't even get to say goodbye to my family and friends. I sacrificed not seeing my children for 3 months. I realize he's done a lot as well, marrying me and taking on 2 children that are not his own. But I do not feel its fair for him to say I don't give him anything when I'm the one who doesn't leave the house ever. I let him go to hang with friends, I let him drink, etc. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe he was right, we should've thought more before we got married. He won't even tell me he loves me anymore. So my 7 month old marriage is going down the drain, and I'm the one to blame for it. I can't stop crying and I'm having the hardest time keeping myself together in front of my parents. Our apartments called today saying we needed to be in Galveston on Saturday to fill out paperwork. I called him to tell him that he needed to be here Friday, and he flat out says ," Well that just doesn't work for me, I'm not coming in then." Fine, thanks a lot. I'm to the point right now where I'm not going to do crap for him or the house. He can handle EVERYTHING like I do, then let him *itch to me that he doesn't have a life. Sorry for the rant ladies..I'm kinda just sitting on these feelings since I have no one to talk to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 12:15am
I am sorry that you're having trouble, Ashley. Maybe when dh gets home, you can sit down & sort things out. For now there's not much you can change & it's contributing to your frustration. I hope you can enjoy the holiday & having your parents with you. Don't allow this to make you any more miserable than you already are. Sending P&PT's your way. (((hugs))) jan


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 6:04am
That is so awful, and right before the holiday, too. Holidays seem to bring out all the stresses. Sitting down with each other and being completely honest about your feelings is a good thing to do, but he has to do it too, or it doesn't really work. Relationships take communication from both sides. It's worth it to try and stick it out a bit longer rather than to just throw it away. Good luck. <33 Lin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 8:57am

(((Hugs))) I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope today goes better and you can enjoy time with your kids and parents.

Sending Prayers and Positive Thoughts,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 5:37pm
HUGS!!! Sorry things are going so badly for you and your hubby
right now. Maybe he needs time away to think a bit--- sometimes people
don't recognize what we do for them until they are apart from us.
I hope that you realize you need a life too!! Giving someone everything
they want is very exhausting and stressful! There has to be some give
and take or it is not worth it-- I feel. Try and do some of the things
YOU ENJOY while he is gone and when he gets back have that honest talk!!
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 10:21am

(((Ashley))) I'm sorry to hear you are going through this!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 11:49am
no, its not going any better. I made a hug mistake last night and told him about it this morning...so..again, because of me i dont know where my marriage is going.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 1:13pm

(((hugs))) It takes two to make a marriage to work.

Sheri Ann