What is wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
What is wrong with me?
30
Thu, 11-23-2006 - 3:52pm

Hi, I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and I'm thinking that I may have some sort of compulsive disorder.

I started having panic attacks when I was 16, and was prescribed Paxil for it. I dealt with them and seemed to be able to function from day to day. I went to my doctor because I was concerned about being on Paxil for 6 years. She then prescribed me Cipralex, and then it hit me. Panic and anxiety and feelings of depersonalization all day. I went back to her, she then put me back on paxil.

Since then, the feelings have lessoned a bit, but I'm still getting the panic attacks. I start worrying about life and it's purpose and death, and I start to get a panic attack. I get this feeling like I'm almost outside of my body, or stuck inside. It is very hard to describe, but it's awful and can send me into full panic. I seem to obsess over the thought sometimes, or it just comes out of nowhere. I think that I might end up going crazy. What is wrong with me, and how am I supposed to overcome this?

Any help would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 12:41pm

Hi, Jan, thanks a bunch for the link.

I have one question though, was that 0.25 MG of clonazepam, or 25MG? I take 0.5, and was wondering how strong it is.

Thanks in advance,
Amy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 2:15pm
OMG! I am so sorry Amy. It was 0.25 mg. I break the 0.5 mg. tablet in half. I will correct my post so I don't scare the bejesus out of anyone:) Thx for bringing that to my attention! (((hugs))) jan









 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 2:32pm

Ha, that's ok, it didn't scare me, lol

Do you know what is the highest dosage that you can get in the clonazepam tablets?
Or does it just go by how many tablets you take? I used to take lorazepam a few years ago, is that stronger?

Thanks,
Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 2:58pm

They are in the same drug family, Amy. Klonopin(clonazepam) takes a little longer to get into the blood stream from what I have read & experienced. However, it lasts for a longer period of time. Comparing meds dosages is very tricky. It is all very chemical & has to do with the weight of the drug & the active ingredient. The dose for ativan(lorazepam) can be higher, but that doesn't mean it's a weaker drug. Honestly I think they are pretty much the same. HTH (((hugs))) jan


Here's both meds links:


http://www.pdrhealth.com/drug_info/rxdrugprofiles/drugs/klo1214.shtml


http://www.pdrhealth.com/drug_info/rxdrugprofiles/drugs/ati1036.shtml









 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 3:19pm

Hi Jan, thanks for the info!

The one major disturbing feeling I get that is concerning me what I do believe is depersonalization. I get this feeling like as if I am trapped inside my body and can't get out. Or I am not connected to my body. Then along with this feeling, I get a panic attack and am so confused and disoriented, I hate it. I feel like I have lost grip of life, and that I will never be able to get rid of the feeling. Then I start to question life, because at that point nothing is making sense, then I start to intensly fear death. That is because it's something I know is going to happen, and the fact that I fear it is worse because I can't fix the fact that I am going to die.

I am just wondering if this same thing happens to anyone but me. I feel like I am the only one feeling this way because I have talked to friends about it and they think that it's weird. Is this a symptom of some anxiety problem?

Thanks for listening to me,
Amy-

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 3:30pm

I just realized that that is almost the same as a few other messages I have posted.

What I really want to know if anyone else has a tremendous fear of death, and is confused about life and why we are here. I was wondering if these thoughts are linked to an anxiety disorder, or if it is some other problem I have. I do notice that when I am not having anxiety, I can think of these things and I still question them, but it doesn't send me into a panic attack. During times of my "anxiety days" I can't get these thoughts out of my mind, and can't calm down. I seem to do well with dealing with them, I don't miss work, and I stick it out, but I tell you, it is very hard. :-(

I am affraid of these thoughts because I have to deal with life, because I am living it! It sounds so confusing and it is very hard to explain. I just don't want to tell the doctor that, and they think that I'm crazy. Or I don't want to have some disorder that isn't curible.

Sorry to be a pain ;-)

Take care,
Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 3:56pm

This is an ovewhelming

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 4:07pm

Hi There,

Well the good thing here is that you are not alone, I have the very same thing and it is one major pain in my life. I have been on Celexa for 5 years first on 20mg and now on 60mg. Those awful feeling have come back and I have even developed stomach problems too. I think that maybe you should talk to you dr about this again and let him/her know that it is most disruptive if not worse and maybe increasing the does may help. I know that is something I have to go asap. Well I hope it helps and if you want to talk about it, I always have an open ear.

Take Care

Carrie:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 7:05am

Hi Carrie, thanks for your response.

It is a very hard thing to deal with, and I just don't understand how these feelings can come about. I know if it was normal, everyone would feel that way. Everyday seems to be unpredictable for me. I dread having these thoughts and I wish I could just some way overcome them. I have a hard time talking to my boyfriend about it because he doesn't understand these feelings, and he never really gives me any input as to what I should do because he doesn't understand it. It is affecting our relationship because I can't sleep in bed with him, I have to sleep on the couch with the T.V on everynight. As for an intimate relationship, it doesn't exist. I am so wrapped up in myself, that I can't concentrate on the "real" life and all the normal important things. How do you go day by day with these feelings? How do you cope with them, and what do you do when you have a panic attack? Did your doctor tell you what these feelings are caused from?

I am supposed to see a psychiatrist sometime soon, I'm just waiting for their call. My doctor seemed understanding, and when I told her the feelings I was having, she made a face. She actually looked worried. That sure didn't put me at ease. She is to see me in about a week to see if I'm feeling any different since I have increased my dosage of Paxil. I do feel better, I was to the point where I was panicking all day long, shaking and I couldn't sit still. I've almost left work a couple of times. I find that I am having a better time concentrating, but the thoughts are still there in the back of my mind. I don't enjoy much and I really don't laugh. One thing I can't do is cry. If I feel like I'm going to cry, I get even more upset. I'm not exactly sure why that would upset me, but I think it may have to do with something in the back of my mind. I almost feel as if I cry, I am breaking down and losing control.

How long have you been having these feelings, and what do you find helps you to cope?

I appreciate your time. :)

Thanks,
Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 7:44am

Thanks Jan, those links were very helpful.

I guess I'm really not the only one who has the DP/DR feelings. I think maybe the reason I am thinking more about death and freaking out about it, is because I witnessed my boyfriend's father pass away. I don't want to get into too much detail about that, but it was very disturbing for me. I knew that I shouldn't have been in the room with the rest of his family due to my anxiety issues, but I felt that I would have been rude if I left the room. Now I will never get that picture out of my head, and now I know what it is like to die. So terribly heartbreaking, I can't even think of a word that would describe what I felt at that moment, and now.

I am way too young to be worrying about death. I should be concentrating on life. I have only gone to a psychiatrist once in my life, when I was 16, and that was when my panic attacks had basically just started. I'm hoping that I can speak to him/her about these feelings. Is there a difference between a psychiatrist and theripist?

Thanks again for all of your help, it is nice to talk to someone that has some information about my feelings, rather that someone who just looks at me like I'm crazy.
You give me hope that I can lead a somewhat "normal" life with my anxiety.

:)
Amy