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| Sun, 12-03-2006 - 1:33pm |
Hello,
I have suffered from dibilitating anxiety and panic since I was a child. Now in my 30's I am still dealing with it much of the time. It has come and gone in my life over the years. I have had years where I was doing really well, with no problems (probably self-medicating at the time), but for the last almost 8 years I have been suffering again. I have been in therapy for four of the last six years. We moved and I did not seek therapy for myself until we moved back and I could go back to my regular therapist. I have been on Celexa for 5 years. It helped tremendously in the beginning, but not so much in the last year or so. I probably need it increased, but have to wait for an appt. Last night I had a terrible episode. No matter how long I have dealt with this I still think something is physically wrong with me each time it happens. I guess I am looking for others to reassure me that they have experienced the same things. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I could not breathe. Immediately started going into panic mode, but started to calm myself down rather quickly. Thought I had nipped it in the bud, but then another wave came. (It seems to come in waves at times.) I woke my husband, who is traditionally no help at all, but did not want to feel alone. I paced the floor trying to breath, but felt like my abdomen would not cooperate. I was trying to take deep breaths from my diaphragm, but felt like my muscles in that area were locked up. (Could have been that I was internally tensing so badly, but I don't know). Then the shakes came. I will shake uncontrollably and my teeth will chatter, almost like a seizure. I didn't feel cold, it is almost like a neurological or muscular thing. Then the diarhea came (TMI, sorry). So this pattern was ongoing for about two hours. I was going to call the hospital to see if I could talk to a therapist, but felt like an idiot doing that. I have an appt. this week with my regular therapist, but it would help me tremedously to know if others experience these same symptoms, or if there really could be something else wrong with me. I have a Dr. appt. coming up in a week too, but I guess I just need some reassurance. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
NLD

I have experienced panic in waves too - I read about how panic attacks last 15 minutes and I think that some of mine have lasted for hours. I haven't experienced exactly the same symptoms as you, but I have had many of the same ones.
Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? I find that writing in a journal while it is happening (even though my hands are shaking LOL) helps to bring me out of it a little and look at it more objectively.
It's terrible when those hit in the middle of the night. I listen to books on tape too - that seems to get my mind elsewhere. A hot shower is good too to calm your body down.
Do you take Xanax or Klonopin or anything like that? Something like that might be useful to take when you have a really bad attack. It does sound like you may need your meds adjusted too.
No, you're not crazy!
Take care.
Oh I hear ya about the shakes, I get them too. My teeth chatter and my body shakes and my muscles tighten and tense. Its terrible and completely frightening.
I wish i had some advice for you, i just wanted to let you know that
Hello, NLD! It's nice to see you;) You are NOT alone. What you are experiencing is common to many in our community. Back in the olden days, I would have the racing heart & difficulty catching my breath. It has changed in the last few years & I am now an uncontrollable shiverer, teeth chatterer & racer to the bathroom just like you. You are NOT an idiot. Fears that we have something wrong with us, such as a medical illness or the need to get to help, such as the hospital for confirmation or reassurance is common, too. I hope that helps you.
I think you are on the right track as far as the possiblility that your meds need changed. I have had to have tune-ups about every 3 years or so. Also, sometimes without being consciously aware of it we have gathered a great deal of stress. Has any major life changes occurred? Deaths, loss of a job, financial concerns, a move, etc.? Have you been ill? Or someone close to you? Everyone on the board has been reporting higher stress with the holidays & change in seasons. There are lots of ways to reduce stress & learn to get through these waves of panic. Please check out our *coping tips & tricks* folder below. I use the belly breathing & daily meditation to keep me relaxed. I have also found that I must get plenty of exercise, enough sleep & follow a good diet to keep me feeling good about things & distance myself from the anxiety.
You will get better. You can learn to live through this wave & get back
Hi NLD, No you are not alone in what you are feeling.
Sheri Ann
Hi, just so you know that I have the EXACT problem. My panic attacks are paralizing! I have the racing heartbeat, dizziness, shaking, teeth chattering, vomiting, diarrhea, disorientation...the list goes on! I hear you about waking your dh up and he isn't much of help. My boyfriend isn't much of help as well. I know that it isn't because he doesn't want to, he just doesn't know what to do and he doesn't understand it.
I find panic/anxiety a very hard thing to deal with. Most people with the condition are very strong - you have to be! I used to wake up with them in the night as well, I was so scared and I was also embarrassed because here I am supposed to be enjoying a nights rest and I'm running around the house freaking out! The best thing to do is get your mind off of it, but I find that very difficult as well. I just want to sleep all the time, and I lose the energy to deal with this.
If I start having problems with anxiety before bed, I will take a klonopin to take the edge away. What it does for me is a little "boost" to get myself away from anxiety. Going to the doctors is good, but I find that it doesn't comfort me. Talking to others with the problem helps me because it reassures me that I am not alone. I am still new here and whenever I need a helping hand, I come on here. Everyone is very nice and supportive and their advice is always positive.
I am here if you need me!
Amy
Anxiety symptoms can be so severe....I'm so sorry you have been suffering for so long. You are, however, doing all the right things. I am proud of you for trying breathing techniques...I hope you give yourself credit for that. Many people are too scared to try them at all.
You asked did anyone else feel this way. Yes. Absolutely. The mind plays terrible tricks on the body. I know every time I get it I'm almost positive that something tragic will happen to me as well. I think I'm sick. I wonder when it's going to end. But it does stop. You know that from prior experience. Although every time, your mind doesn't want that to register. Panic is fed by fear. So if you are anything like me, you fear the panic and then it goes into a vicious "worry" cycle. IT's hard to break that cycle. I am living proof though that it can be done. Just remember, nothing lasts forever. It may seem like forever, but it doesn't last forever. Promise. Your body has already proven that. Now you have to trust it.
As for the waves.......ahhhhh the waves. I always felt like they pulled me under. I learned this great technique to deal with the waves. Whenever I would feel one coming on, instead of panicking and feeding into the fear, I pretended like I was a surfer in my mind and I "rode the wave". I didn't fight it. I just let it happen. I knew that if I let myself cry, eventually it would stop. I would have good moments again. Remember, this too shall pass. It will. You just have to try to believe it. So ride with it. It is what it is.....try that. Let me know if it helps any......
On the last note, I'm glad you are going to see your therapist. Sounds like the celexa needs an increase or maybe your body chemistry/hormones have changed. Doesn't matter as they are treated the same, so hang in there and just do your best. We anxious people are too hard on ourselves.......ride.....the.......wave..........(hear the ocean crashing in the background yet?)....
One of the best pieces of advice I got came from the book by CLaire Weeks. She stated that you couldn't make yourself worse if you wanted to....go ahead and try it. It won't work. Nothing more can happen than what is happening at that moment.....it's like having a headache and you telling yourself it's getting worse. You cannot make that happen....so it cannot get any worse. Think of it in a positive light......I know it's hard, but try.
HTH.
Stacey
Stacey
Loving Mom to Brendan (10), Samma (6), Delaney Kate (3) and Natalie "MiMi" (2)