Intro, my story. New here sorta
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| Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:21pm |
Hi all. Just wanted to take a minute and introduce myself and tell my story. I'll try to keep it short. I am a 30 yr old married, full time working mom of two wonderful children. My kids are 6 and 2. I have been dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and depression most of my life. I didn't get properly diagnosed until I was in my early twenties. I found this board back then and have been a long time (very long) lurker. For the longest time I was embarassed about my diagnosis and was in denial. I too thought there was physically something wrong with me. There had to be right? :) My symptoms at their worst were middle of the night panic attacks, heart palpitations, disassociation, dizziness, chest pain, numbness....the usual I guess. I saw many doctors, was on Buspar for a period of time and saw many therapists too. Skip to the present. I now am living with this condition drug free but am pretty dependent on my therapist. For me it seems the worst part is dormant for the time being. I still get occasional panic attacks but nothing like I used to. I still get dizzy every once in a while, and every so often will shake or tremble before I fall asleep or sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night. I will get slight disassociation sometimes that follows with a pretty killer headache (anyone else?). I also have TMJ/TMD (whatever they are calling it these days) that causes me problems from time to time.
It is just recently that I have begun to be completely accepting of this condition and openly talk about it. I no longer try to hide it from my family and friends which I think has helped me a little. Reading this board has always been a constant source of comfort. Knowing I am not alone always helps. Currently I am under a lot of stress with family issues and am noticing the anxiety popping up more often. Tonight is one of those nights. I am dreading going to bed because I know my mind will start racing and the physical symptoms may start up. Anyways, I just wanted to say hi and hopefully I will get a chance to know all of you. This board has been so helpful to me for such a long time. I guess it's high time I started using it huh? :) Take care everyone.
J

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Hi, J! I'd like to welcome you to the board. We love de-lurkers;)
I am sorry to hear about the return of anxiety. It does seem to rear it's ugly head during stressful times. You are in a good posistion. You have developed coping skills & you KNOW that you can regain your balance from having done it in the past.
There's some info on getting to sleep in our *coping tips & tricks* folder below. When my anxiety is up, bedtime is always a chore. It seems that I get scared & an empty feeling in my stomach because of the *anticipation* of what MIGHT happen): I have learned to accept this is part of my illness & try not to get angry @ myself for something I have little control over. All we can control is HOW we allow our fears & anxiety to effect us.
Please post anytime. Join us in chats. We care about you & hope you'll be right as rain soon. GL&GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Hi,
This is my first day on the site and I was anxious (as usual) about actually contacting anyone. I read your post and it was like hearing myself. I have been dealing with anxiety for only 3 years and sometimes feel like its the most isolating and frustrating condition imaginable. I can't imagine how tough its been for you having to live with this for so many years.
I tend to keep things to myself and apart from my husband and sisters no-one knows I live with this. I have improved somewhat in terms of my ability to manage my anxiety but the way it still affects me most is my waking in the middle of the night bathed in sweat with heart palpitations. Most recently, and most disturbing, I am obsessed with my general health. Every twinge or tingle convinces me that I have some awful, terminal condition and I find myself thinking about what my husband will do when I'm gone. I am 41 and want to live my best life. I certainly feel like I'm not doing that right now. I'd love to find a great therapist but instead I find excuses not to. Thanks so much for talking about it. Your nickname is intriguing?
Hi J,
Welcome! I was recently diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and started therapy a few weeks ago. It has been helping and I am not taking meds, though I wonder if they'd help when I am really stressing out.
I was interested to read about the TMJ because I'd have tremendous bouts of muscle tension and get days where my jaw actually won't close right and my molars don't connect. I end up chewing on my canines. LOL It usually goes away once I get over the big stress days. Does that sound like TMJ? I haven't had anyone check it out yet since it seems to get back to normal in a day or so.
The other muscle tension comes out as joint pains, back aches and headaches which I just take OTC pain relievers or try to meditate and drink herbal tea or something at night when it seems the worst.
Hope you can talk at chat tonight!
Smiles,
Dee
I completely understand the medical anxiety. Even when I have a headache I always am wondering if maybe this time the brain aneurysm (sp?) will erupt. :) Even though logically I am telling myself, it's just a headache...the same headache you have gotten a million times. It's a constant struggle.
My nickname is because my family and I have motorcycles and ATV's and go riding in the desert all winter. We live in Southern California. I can ride an ATV like a bat of out hell through the desert with no anxiety whatsoever, but a pain in my chest in the middle of the night will keep me awake for hours. Go figure ;)
Hi! It's a pleasure to have you here. I know that posting for the first time
Thanks for your note. I'm coping right now without meds. It took me 18 months to get off Clonopin and I really don't want to go back to it. I'm looking for a local yoga class and am working on breathing and positive visualization techniques. Sometimes they're helpful and sometime I just know I'm gonna lose it regardless ;) Today I only have a brain tumor which is better than yesterday when I had that plus breast cancer!! If I couldn't laugh at myself sometimes I really would go nuts. Its so good to connect with others in the same boat. Hope to chat later :)
A.
P.S. What's GBU?
Welcome to mom_desertrat and superaunt2006. I have only been on this board for a month or two. I was diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder a couple of months ago - it seemed to come out of nowhere. Along with it came horrible insomnia. Since then I have been seeing a therapist, started on some meds (Lexapro and Klonopin) and have made a lot of progress. I still have bad days, but then I have to remind myself of where I was at a month ago, or even 2 weeks ago. I feel like I'm getting my life back.
Interesting about the TMJ - when my anxiety was peaking I had such a stiff jaw and I kept biting the inside of my mouth and couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. That must have been it.
There are so many people suffering from these disorders. The more I talk to people about it, the more people I meet who also suffer with it. Many of them silently. I know that I felt like "What would I do if something was REALLY wrong with me if I'm freaking out about this." Then one day it dawned on me that there IS something wrong with me and I have been able to cope with it pretty well. I think we all have this notion that it's "in our heads" but in fact the pain and suffering we experience is all too real.
Hi superaunt,
GBU = God Bless You
;-)
Amy
Laughing is a great stress reducer. In fact, taking ourselves too seriously when these sometimes not too rational thoughts pop in is ill-advised;) My cancer scares are almost a daily occurrence. I remind myself that I am eating well, exercising, avoiding cigarettes, getting enough sleep, etc. so that I can be the healthiest person I can be. I do what I can, but accept I have no control over some things.
Good luck with the yoga class. We have others that find it helpful. There's alot of yoga content on iVillage. Check out this link for articles & even messageboards on the bottom:
Hi Amy!
Thanks :0)
A.
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