Intro, my story. New here sorta

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Intro, my story. New here sorta
13
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:21pm

Hi all. Just wanted to take a minute and introduce myself and tell my story. I'll try to keep it short. I am a 30 yr old married, full time working mom of two wonderful children. My kids are 6 and 2. I have been dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and depression most of my life. I didn't get properly diagnosed until I was in my early twenties. I found this board back then and have been a long time (very long) lurker. For the longest time I was embarassed about my diagnosis and was in denial. I too thought there was physically something wrong with me. There had to be right? :) My symptoms at their worst were middle of the night panic attacks, heart palpitations, disassociation, dizziness, chest pain, numbness....the usual I guess. I saw many doctors, was on Buspar for a period of time and saw many therapists too. Skip to the present. I now am living with this condition drug free but am pretty dependent on my therapist. For me it seems the worst part is dormant for the time being. I still get occasional panic attacks but nothing like I used to. I still get dizzy every once in a while, and every so often will shake or tremble before I fall asleep or sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night. I will get slight disassociation sometimes that follows with a pretty killer headache (anyone else?). I also have TMJ/TMD (whatever they are calling it these days) that causes me problems from time to time.
It is just recently that I have begun to be completely accepting of this condition and openly talk about it. I no longer try to hide it from my family and friends which I think has helped me a little. Reading this board has always been a constant source of comfort. Knowing I am not alone always helps. Currently I am under a lot of stress with family issues and am noticing the anxiety popping up more often. Tonight is one of those nights. I am dreading going to bed because I know my mind will start racing and the physical symptoms may start up. Anyways, I just wanted to say hi and hopefully I will get a chance to know all of you. This board has been so helpful to me for such a long time. I guess it's high time I started using it huh? :) Take care everyone.

J

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 3:56pm

Hello,
Thanks for the welcome. So glad things are coming together for you. You're spot on about the experiences being brutally real. I think that's what staggered me the most the first time I had a full blown panic attack. When you're sweating buckets, shaking all over, have a huge lump in your throat and can't breathe.....no-one can tell you its in your mind!

Hope the Klonopin continues to help. Honestly it was a total god send for me, and allowed me to start to regain some equilibrium. Now I concentrate on finding humor in every day things that can ground me when I start to feel the familiar waves rising. It may sound simplistic but I find that by getting outside, timing my beathing in synch with walking fast has helped to take my mind back from letting the anxiety get a grip. I pace around the house if it hits during the night, and I've even done housework or ironing (how sad!!) rather than lie in bed and listen to my heart beat. Whatever it takes - you'll find what works for you too. It's great to know that we're not alone. Take care. A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 1:54pm

hi there,


welcome to the board:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 9:20pm

Hi J!

Sheri Ann

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