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| Sun, 12-10-2006 - 10:56am |
Hello everyone (Hi Jan...my online mom =P.) Well lets see I guess im out from hiding just to vent a little bit because of a few situations with my life. Well I can't remember the last time I posted I believe it was before when I was thinking of going into the USAF. Ok anyhow I got kicked out because well long story but Ill get to the interesting part. All week before then I have anxiety seems like minor panic attacks and what not just worried with the "what-if's" about going in. Day of going in I remember I was feeling a bit worried and all that but when I was in basic it all seemed to disappear and not really come too much. I was put in the discharge building about 1 week into basic and I was for sure thinking I was going to freak out and all that stuff just have panic attacks because it was something I wasnt used to. Anyhow I didnt though and I came to two conclusions; its either I have finally broken my comfort zone issues and can now live mostly with comfort not being around my family, or its because I was only 30 minutes from my family and that may have been why I was doing so well. I would like to believe it was the first one. Well now with that being out I would like some advice from you ladies since this is what the second part it about. I know about a year ago I was posting up and down the message board about me and my ex break up well thats done with I felt I compeletly moved on from here but maybe not totally with my feelings. See this girl and I have been talking for a while now and I like her but I feel like im just not ready to be in another relationship again and I feel like it wouldn't be fair to her because what if I can not give all my feelings into a relationship I dont want to hurt her. Although I do really like her and I would feel awful if I did pass up on a potential great situation just because I didnt want to try. Anyway what im trying to ask is should I tell her everything and also that it would be hard for me to be fully commited in a relationship because I would be on guard alot or just stop leading her on and let things go until im fully ready for another g/f.
Sorry if I was rambling I have been up since yesterday studying so my brain isnt fully functional.

Hello,Kevin! I have been wondering about you & am so glad to see you;) We have a new male member & hopefully, he'll be along to lend you an ear. Are you out there, Manny?
I can see the dilemma you're in. In a way, most of us have had to face the same one. Who do we tell? When do we tell? How much? How little? There's alot of anxiety in just wondering if we'll be accepted or not if we DO tell. I know that for me, when I finally came clean to my family & friends it was a great relief. But, I never had to tell my partner or worry about what my partner would think of me. He met me when I was having a bad spell of anxiety & concealing it was impossible.
Is this girl pressuring you into a more serious relationship? Are you pressuring yourself, Kevin? Do you ever feel that this chance won't come up again? IMHO, if this girl is worth the effort, then she will accept you as you are. She will try to understand your anxiety issues. You know it's not a flaw in your character. It's a flaw in your chemistry. You have no control over that. You do have control over how much or how little you will allow the anxiety/panic to effect your life.
If you aren't prepared to tell her about the anxiety, then maybe you can tell her you like her, want to keep in touch but don't want to make a serious committment @ this time. It's not an excuse to tell the truth. You're too busy with your studies!
That's the best I can do for my cyber son;) Let us know how things work out. Tell us about your studies. I know that others will be along to give you their thoughts. Sending P&PT's your way. (((hugs))) jan
Kevin!!!!
Sheri Ann