so tired.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
so tired.
14
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 8:37am
i keep thinking that im going to develop some serious mental disorder from these panic attacks.. i have them all the time and im so tired. i can never sleep a whole nights through and i know i do it to myself i just dont know how to control my thoughts and feelings. i keep thikning im going to get like schizophrenia and start seeing things and hearing people tlaking to me. i know that sounds silly but it scares me so bad. i just try to look towards the future and know that eveything will work out. i just wish it would stop and this medicince would start working i have been on it for like 5 weeks. im so tired, alsosince yesterday i have felt like the middle of my forehead has been so tense. i dont know if thats normal, i have recently been through alot but i dont worry about it or obsess about the abortion. i just know it was best for me. could it still be causing these sleepless nights and tension in my head? is ist normal to be afraid of getting serisouly ill?
thanks for listening
melissa

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
In reply to: melg33
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 10:07am

Hi Melissa,

I'm sure my anxiety developed a few years ago after some highly stressful family situations: DH's health problems, career changes, financial challenges and DD's arrival (joyful, but a lot to handle at the time).

Returning to college as a nontraditional student, moving and ongoing financial challenges etc., have just kept me in this cycle of high anxiety and I'm finally trying to break it.

As you mentioned, I know my outlook and moods have really changed and I wish I could be the more accepting, easygoing personality that I used to be. I took a depression screening at my school couseling office a few months ago and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (scored way high on that too) and also lower score indicating possible depression. So I am seeing a counselor at the school for free which is really helping, but have only really just started therapy.

It took a few tries of different meds for my DH to find the right antidepressant that helped him. I would recommend to keep working with your doctor on that.

For me, I'm also working towards developing better stress management, coping and hopefully some healthier lifestyle changes. Until I finish school there will be stress to cope with, but I know what really triggers stuff for me, so am trying to make future plans to help me get a better balance with work/school and family with maybe a big long summer vacation somewhere in there to get me calmed down and maybe back to some of my previous ways of thinking.

I have accepted that it will take awhile for me to really get past all this and am realizing that it took years of stress too actually get me here, so will take awhile to get back on track too.

I hope that you can find immediate relief from the worst symptoms. I've heard from a lot of people that meds can really help. Personally I think lifestyle and trying to adjust to a positive attitude is the longterm key.

Good luck & hugs,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
In reply to: melg33
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 3:45pm
Hi Melissa, I used to be afraid of things like that when I was younger. I would lay at night in my room and just know something was going to pop out of the closet or jump up beside my bed or that someone would say my name. It freaked me out.
You aren't alone in these fears and they aren't silly. If your medicine isn't working, talk to your doctor and see if they need to tweak the dosage a little.
You mentioned you had an abortion, you didn't mention how long ago it was, but pregnancy and postpartum hormones play a major role in how we are emotionally. Fluctuations in HGC and estrogen levels can make us feel on edge after a pregnancy. Take time for yourself each day to pamper yourself in some way. You aren't alone. Many blessings!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
In reply to: melg33
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 5:39pm

thanks for the reply. it makes me feel better that i am not alone in being afraid. do you have anxiety problems too? i dont see how people can go years dealing with this problem. i guess over time you find ways to deal with it but i just cant seem to find the right things i guess to help. i feel like i am trying everything. buti know i need to give it time to get back to my old self.

melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
In reply to: melg33
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 10:08pm

Hi Melissa,

Indeed you are not alone. I think everyone with an anxiety issue thinks they are going to lose control, have a heart attack, die or hear voices. These thoughts just keep feeding the anxiety. For me it started when I had my first child...hard pregnancy, hard labour, hard recovery and then came Post-Partum Depression. At first I did not know what was going on and then I was told I was going through PPD. You don't want to believe it; the main reason for me was that I was still functionning, and taking care of my baby so I could not believe that I was depressed. So I started medication and therapy also. I have learned so much through therapy. I have an alcoholic father and childhood was not easy so I sorted all that out. Now I had another baby and I thought that it would be different but sure enough PPD came on the third week after giving birth. I remember being soooooo tired from getting up at night and I was nervous/anxious and in a panic all the time. I used to cry a lot for nothing but I thought I could do it on my own without medication...being that I knew what was going on. Well the second time around I really believed that my hormones were playing tricks on me...and that I had no control over my emotions. So I finally went for medication Effexor and then I increased my therapy sessions. This time around I sorted out the symptoms of my depression and went even deeper in treating the anxiety. My therapist suggested an EMDR treatment which has helped a lot. It's all about re-programming your brain in thinking differently. Because as you know the brain forms connections and forms defence mechanisms...but at one point these mechanisms are no longer working for you. You can avoid so many situations...then they come back and you can't run anymore.
Facing the music head on and trying to accept the person that you are now is best. I find it's all about acceptance. Acceptance of your panics/anxieties/thoughts ect....Knowing that they are just that "thoughts" and that they are not really what you think. Your brain plays tricks on you and you need to be aware of this. I used to anticipate the next panic attack and just doing that I felt so tense because I was on guard all the time. The medication helped me to get less anxious...at one point I thought it was not working but at 150mg I decided that it was high enough a dosage for me and I started looking at other options. My doctor suggested Seroquel which is a relaxant which automatically helps you sleep. I'm taking the lowest dosage which is 12.5mg and it has helped. It's to increase the good effects of the Effexor. I was not keen on changing meds either because I thought of going back to those anxious all the time days and I could not face that. So instead of starting over on new meds. I looked at different options. I joined a support group for PPD which has helped tremendously. Then I started acupuncture....that has done miracles. The point of doing acupuncture was to regulate my menstruation and help my depression. Well it took about 8 sessions and the past two months my menstruations have been at 28 days, we'll see for this month. My PMS time which was lasting for 1 week is now about a day and not to the intensity it was before. So you see hormones out of whack will definately make you feel bad!!!

So for sure maybe the dosage of your medication is not high enough but give yourself another two weeks to make a decision. Look at the real facts because I find a lot of the time when we are anxious we tend to forget the moments where we were feeling good or we just minimize the good days and only look at the bad days. And definately look at other options....therapy to sort things out and find out your triggers, then maybe acupuncture to help you relax and boost your energy/which will alleviate the anxiety/depression, yoga is also good to help you be in the present moment and relax (find a partner it's easier), walking and doing things that are of some interest to you!!!!

Also don't try to be the person you once were. Remember that going through that anxiety depression thing will change you forever. I find that I'm much more compassionate towards others and less judgemental and critical. I will not be the carefree person that I once was because of this experience but I like who have become because of it. You can only go forward and some days I feel more like the person I was before and it's nice but most days I'm this changed person and it's o.k. too.!!!!

ciao
Sonia

Pages