Venting, warning you now

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Venting, warning you now
6
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 2:14pm

I am so sick of my husband!! I don't group all men in this same category, but he is a jerk!! We have 5 children and this is the first year my kids have gone to public school. I homeschooled them all before. Just my older 3 go to school, my youngest daughter goes half day, so I still have little ones at home. My husband works full time, which I AM grateful for, but that is ALL he thinks he is expected to do. It's like pulling teeth just to get him to take out the trash. All my kids have their daily chores which helps a little, but I still am the MAIN parent in our home. When he comes home from work and has to look after the kids at ALL, he just yells at them, gee THANKS Honey, I could have done that myself.

He doesn't understand why I "get so upset" over the "little" things like stuff on the floor. Well, granted, but when you've picked up that "stuff" on the floor about a 1000 times a day and it's STILL on the floor, it makes ya a little crazy. The definition of "insanity" is "doing something over again and expecting a different result", so I guess that makes me TOTALLY insane, cuz I clean something up and EXPECT it to stay clean. BUUUUT, since I'm the only person who cares that it stays clean, I'm the only one making a fuss about it.

*Personal stuff here* I'm not going to be graphic, but my husband doesn't show me much affection or attention in the bedroom. I feel I have to initiate sex and when we have it, it's mostly about him. I've talked to him about this as well, ALOT and it might change for a day or two, but then it goes right back to the way it always is. He barely touches me and I don't get "fulfilled".

Today we got into an arguement, about the "stuff on the floor" and I finally say, "Ok, I've had enough, I'm leaving", get dressed, get the kids dressed, checked how much gas we had in the car. He says there's no reason to leave and if I leave I'm walking out on the marriage. I tell him, no, I just need to be away from him right now, to which he says, there is no grey, it's black and white, if you leave you are walking out on the marriage, (with this s*it eatin grin on his face). I get beligerent as well and tell him that I don't need his attitude. He says if I leave then he will turn off my cell phone and the cell phone of our friend who we are helping out. Basically throwing it in my face that I am "helpless" without him, cuz HE makes the money. Before I have told HIM to leave and he says, I have to leave cuz it's HIS house. Otherwise he is generous with the money. If I need something, then it's usually ok, although for Christmas we had agreed to spend $50 a piece on each other. He gets me a $100 gift card and a silver ring. He said he didn't need anything or he would get something after Christmas. We get into an argument after Christmas about some money we had gotten from my grandfather, I wanted to give my share to our friends who we were helping before, he gets mad and says "Here's an idea, why don't you buy your HUSBAND something". See what I mean, I always get crap thrown back up in my face.

I didn't mean for this to be this long, I'm just tired of feeling lonely in my own marriage. My husband is a good guy on the whole, but he can be a real jerk. I know I'm no picnic, because of my depression, anxiety and mood swings, but this really didn't start until my husband starting screwing things up financially. That's another post, it's just REALLY bad, let's put it that way.

Thanks for reading! Rant now over, I will now return you to your regularly schedules lives :P

ARGH!!!




Edited 12/30/2006 5:31 pm ET by glamfatale
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 2:57pm

I am sorry to hear what you're going through. It doesn't take much to get things riled up during the holiday season. It can be a very real stressor, especially when discussing money issues. There are lots of boards on iVillage where you can discuss your relationship with dh. Also, your intimacy issues & finances can be directed there. Here's the link to the master list of messageboards: http://www.ivillage.com/messageboards/


For now, I'm glad you were able to get things off your chest. iVillage wants to keep our messageboards safe & offense-free

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 3:08pm

Wow, didn't know I was littering the board with my marital problems, which as I said was the cause of my anxiety and depression.

Sorry for the cursing and I would edit it, if I knew how, so if you can direct me on how to do that, I would really appreciate it and for that matter tell me how to delete my profile on iVillage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 4:53pm

Hi glamfatale,

I'm sorry you are going through all this. I don't think Jan was trying at all to drive you off or handslap about the cursing.

As CL, she often gives referrals to other boards, just because it's good to get all the help and support you can. Venting occasionally is fine, we all need to...sometimes it helps to have a place where they have a forum around that specific topic...that's not to say we don't want you to be able to share about your anxiety issues.

The cursing is ivillage policy, Jan relates exactly the same thing to everyone who does that;it's not personal. Actually I don't think I know how to edit either. LOL

Anyway, again, please don't feel unwelcome. If you'd given it a few more hours, you'd have had more responses. This is a friendly group.

Hugs,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 5:21pm

Ok, Amy. I had to see how to do the profile thingy. If you really want to

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 5:44pm
I edited the post. Don't mean to cause trouble but I felt like, here I spill my heart out and I'm told to go to another board. The things I said pertained to the anxiety in my life, so I thought it was appropriate. It's been hard for me to open up on message boards and this is why. I can understand the need to promote other boards, but I felt like I was being told that my post was inappropriate for this board. I'm really not hard to get along with and didn't mean to raise a stink about it, but I am honest about my feelings, I don't hold back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:10am

I'm sorry you are going through this with your dh.

Sheri Ann