Just Tired

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Just Tired
6
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 11:59am

Hi everyone, I hope you are all having some great holidays.

As for myself, I really don't know where to start right now. I feel awful. Nothing is interesting me. Last night was awful for me, I didn't fall asleep until 2am and I woke up every half and hour after that. I was having very strange dreams and nightmares. No matter how hard that I tried, I just couldn't seem to catch my breath. My chest was very sore and I was having stomach pains. I was having racing thoughts, and nothing seemed to make sense.

I just find that this is so hard to deal with. I just want my normal life back! I just want to look forward to things rather than dred them. I find that all I want to do is sleep and now I can't even do that without having nightmares.

My doctor was supposed to fax out a referral for me to a psychiatrist. It was over 4 weeks since that appointment, so I called the clinic to investigate. No one had faxed anything over for them. My doctor had forgot. This really upset me because it made me feel like she didn't care about me. How could she forget something like that? What I do believe is that I need to see a therapist. Right now, because it is winter, I am layed off. I'm not too sure if my benefits cover therapist appointments, and I really don't think that I can afford one. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I just feel emotionally exhausted and I am really really tired of feeling like this. How can I put a smile on my face and snap out of this?

Thanks,
Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
In reply to: amy_a2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 12:20pm

Hi Amy,

Sounds like you are having a really hard time. (((Hugs))) Losing sleep is the worst! I've had a lot of experience with it. I think maybe that would be a good place for you to start. There are good ideas in the Coping Tips folder on the board here.

You might also try: cutting caffeine, not eating after dinnertime, warm milk/herbal tea etc or a bath to relax in the evening. A sleep aid or I take herbal valerian root capsules sometimes. If you have repetitive thoughts or worries at night....some people find that writing a journal or writing out their thoughts before bedtime helps.

I think it's good that you are following up with the referral...sorry your doc dropped the ball on that, but at least you have it rolling again.

Good luck and hope to hear from you again.

Smiles,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
In reply to: amy_a2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 12:38pm

Thanks for your reply Dee. I'm just in a vicious cycle right now. When I do feel that I can get some sleep, I oversleep. I just end up not even wanting to get out of bed. I am almost to0 "lazy" to deal with the world, or I'm just sick of life in general. I am mad at myself for getting like this. I wish that I could just except things for what they are, and just take life for what it is and do my best to enjoy it.

What I have been doing that is helping a bit for my anxiety is going to a massage therapist. I have been doing that once a week. Everything becomes so costly, and I'm worried about spending too much.

I just wish that someone could come to me and pat me on the back and tell me that it is going to be ok. I have yet to find that. When I discuss my fears with other people they just look at me like I'm crazy, or they seem that what I'm worrying about scares them too.

I just don't know what happened. I felt that I had "some" control over my life, and I had some direction. Then this happens, which has been for the past 3 months, that nothing can fall into place. I see everyone around me smiling and living their lives, and I think to myself, what am I doing wrong? What is my purpose? Why can't I be happy?

I am very frustrated. What also is upsetting is my boyfriend suffers from depression and he sure doesn't do a wonderfull job of cheering me up. I feel like I have to work to keep him smiling as well. I don't blame him for this, but it doesn't make things easier for me. :-(

I just feel that all I can do is complain. All I can do is worry.

:-(
Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: amy_a2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 1:14pm

(((Amy))) I am sure the missing fax was just an oversight. It was important to you & it happened @ a time when you really needed the help, that's why you're taking it personally. I have done the very same thing. Your dr. does care. I am sure that in this day & age of malpractice suits, she wants to

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
In reply to: amy_a2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 2:35pm

Hello again Jan. I admire you because you are always so positive! I guess you do have a point about the neglect of my doctor. I guess it was just a mistake, but it's really hard not to assume things. Even when I called my doctor's office, she didn't even remember filling it out for me. I do understand that she is very busy and has a lot of patients, but this isn't the first time she has forgotten what we have discussed. It just makes it a little difficult to trust her, but I really do like her.

As for it getting better, I really do hope it does. At the time of some severe anxiety, it feels like it will never end and I just don't want to go on. Then when it's over, I think to myself, "gee, that really wasn't that bad." At the time it was, but when it passes things fall into place.

I think that I will call around for therapists and see what I can arrange. I'm sure that the prices are still going to be outrageous. I don't have the slightest clue what to expect when it comes to the cost.

As for right now, I just miss my life and I'm doing my best to not concentrate on all the bad thoughts.

Happy new year!!!
Amy

Avatar for ready2go2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: amy_a2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 5:44pm
Hi Amy,
I can understand how you would be angry at your dr, I know I would be. I am going to speak with exspirence (spelt wrong I know), I have dealt with many "proffesionals" on my journey to find better mental health. I know they can make stupid mistakes and forget and be absolute idiots. Best plan of action is try and let it go, I know its hard, but thats the only why you can communicate with them. They don't always understand how yes we know they are busy, but this is our lives that is messed up and not theres. I think you should do something for yourself. Something like watching a favorite movie, going for a walk, taking a nice bath or eating something yummy and not worry about the calories. Doing this may help you know that you do deserve help no matter how idiotic your dr is at the moment.
Kristina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: amy_a2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 5:48pm

Amy, focus on the positives, that's what I always try to do & it does help!

Sheri Ann