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I need help
| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:17am |
Hi, I am 30 years old and suffer from depression and anxiety disorder. The depression camo first when I was about 14 or 15, it's hereditary, and my first anxiety attack came when I was 20. As pretty much all of you can empathise with I thought I was dying. Since then my disorder has progressed horribly and has come to the point that I now have pretty much no friends, I cannot hold a job, and about 100 other things. The most worrisome part for me is not being able to hold a job. My family needs the money I could contribute, but I just can't do it. No one in my family understands, even my agoraphobic husband...I get a job, do great for 2 to 3 days, and then start having attacks that prevent me from either going or staying at work. I am on medication, but once it starts there is just no way to continue my day. It makes me feel lazy and worthless, I know what is happening, I am aware that it is going to happen, and even though I know it is a real problem, I can't stop myself from believing that I am doing it to myself to be lazy, that I am instigating a psychosymatic (sp?) attack.
I don't really know why I am going on about this, I guess I am just hoping that someone out there has gone through this and hopefully recovered or recovering and can help me...I mean not that I hope someone else has had to suffer through this, but well, yeah, you know.
Anyways, thanks for reading this and have a happy new year.
Kell
I don't really know why I am going on about this, I guess I am just hoping that someone out there has gone through this and hopefully recovered or recovering and can help me...I mean not that I hope someone else has had to suffer through this, but well, yeah, you know.
Anyways, thanks for reading this and have a happy new year.
Kell

Basically the meds are keeping me at a place right now that I am able to get out of bed and that is about it. I have had increases in the meds the last 3 times I went to the doctor for upkeep. I know that I am pretty much as high as I can go as far as daily maintenance medication goes, and that makes all my conditions worse cause it scares me that I don't know what options I have beyond what I am doing now. I feel hopeless and worthless everyday. And while i can genuinely say I would never kill myself, most days I just sit around and hope for a plane engine to fall on my head or some such...Donnie Darko got off easy imo.
Anyways, I do appreciate your kind words and your spirit :). Today is just a worse day than usual for me.
Kell
Hi Kel & welcome!
Sheri Ann