Fear of Darkness
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| Mon, 01-15-2007 - 10:07am |
Hi everyone, from a very sunny South Africa,
I found these forums while doing a search on phobias, and would like to share my story – ongoing saga would be a more apt way to describe it.
My mother was a fortune teller and extremely superstitious. From a very young age I was made aware of the spirit world and that there is more to life than what we can see. Unfortunately she went about teaching me the wrong way and instead of becoming a psychic like her, I ended up with a paralising fear of darkness.
I am 35 years old and I can only sleep (when I sleep) with all the lights in the house switched on. I have 2 nightlights on, always as well as the main bedroom light – just for in case one goes out during the night. I always have candles, a lighter and a torch within reach, should I wake up in darkness. Thank goodness that hasn’t happened often. I always feel and truly believe that someone is watching me at all times, day or night.
I dread waking up at night and I usually battle to get back to sleep. I never seem to be able to decide what is better - covering my head with the duvet so I can’t see anything or keeping it away from my face so I CAN see… is it not better to know what is out there?
These days I really tire myself out during the day and go to sleep around 8 at night when I can still hear people and cars around me. But when I wake up in the dead of night when everything is quiet I immediately start hyperventilating, I feel nauseous and I start crying hysterically. On a few occasions I have actually run outside and set off the alarm system because I know that way the neighbours would wake up and I would see someone.
I am single, but even when I have someone sleep over I feel the same. I feel like I could literally climb underneath that person when I wake up in the middle of the night and it’s dark – I usually try and compromise by switching off the lights when I have someone sleep over, as most people are bothered by the light.
There is a twist to this saga, however.
I would say that what I described here is what I feel like 85% of the time, but some nights I am not affected by the dark in the least. I will sit in the lounge and read a book until 1 in the morning, and then fall asleep there. I might wake up an hour later and walk through a pitch black dark house to the bathroom, and get into bed without switching on a single light, and sleep peacefully until the next morning. This usually happens after I had a particularly bad episode the night before.
It’s got to a point where I know I need help. I also know (like most of us suffering with different phobias) that my fear is completely irrational – but I am powerless against it. I have had so many people tell me to “get over it” or “there are no such things as ghosts.” It’s easy to laugh and judge when you have no idea what it is all about.
That is my story – thank you for listening.
Mallory

Hi, Mallory! Sorry to hear about your distress. If your life is being interrupted with the fear of darkness, then there is help available. Meds in combination with cognitive behavioral therapy has proven to be very successful. TBH, the root of your fears need to be addressed. Many people have been thrown off track by the occult. When you look for a counselor/therapist, I would suggest asking in advance if they have experience in this area.
Seeing someone is not shameful. It doesn't mean you're crazy or that you'll need to be in therapy forever. In my experience, maybe because I'm kind of thick-headed;) I needed someone to point out my ineffectual learned behaviors. How they directly affected my inability to handle current stress & learning new ways to cope. Check out our *coping tips & tricks* folder below.
Here is a link on specific phobias:
Hi Mallory & welcome!
Sheri Ann