About my day
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About my day
| Mon, 01-15-2007 - 9:25pm |
First I want to say thank you to those whom posted to me earlier. It was nice coming home to some supportive words when my day had gone so bad.
How about I start with this morning after I posted? I went outside and it was freezing cold! Ice is everywhere, kind of cool to look at though. That wasn't bad thought. The bus picked us up, took us to and took us to school.
By 10 am I felt pretty out of it due to my medications that I have to take in the morning. I have tried taking them earlier, but it just doesn't seem to help with the keeping tiredness away. After that I could not sit still and got frustrated. At lunch, I had an issue with my brother. He basically treated me like crap in front of everyone (mom spoke to him later and he apologized), then I went looking with one of the TA's I hang with and she didn't really want much to do with me since she had her own stuff going on.
I was in one of those moods that sends a person into undecided land. I could not make my mind up with anything. I managed to see my sexual abuse counselor, and in all the years she has seen me, this was the first time she had seem me let tears go. Not the sobbing kind, but the rolling down the cheek kind. We spoke about how my rape has affected me and my family, my uncertainty in religion, and the pain I feel inside that he never was never charged because of the lack of evidence. My counselor cound relate to alot of what I was saying because she was a victim in her early days, and she says that the anger and the need to explode will fade once I get the help.
It has been a few hours since all of this has gone on, my anxiety level has gone down because my brother apologized and time has passed. I plan on taking a bath a bit later, and then will try for an early night. I don't know if I am going to school tomorrow, but I will make a call to the school counselor.
Thank you so much for all of your support, I hope you realize how your words have helped.
Kristina
How about I start with this morning after I posted? I went outside and it was freezing cold! Ice is everywhere, kind of cool to look at though. That wasn't bad thought. The bus picked us up, took us to and took us to school.
By 10 am I felt pretty out of it due to my medications that I have to take in the morning. I have tried taking them earlier, but it just doesn't seem to help with the keeping tiredness away. After that I could not sit still and got frustrated. At lunch, I had an issue with my brother. He basically treated me like crap in front of everyone (mom spoke to him later and he apologized), then I went looking with one of the TA's I hang with and she didn't really want much to do with me since she had her own stuff going on.
I was in one of those moods that sends a person into undecided land. I could not make my mind up with anything. I managed to see my sexual abuse counselor, and in all the years she has seen me, this was the first time she had seem me let tears go. Not the sobbing kind, but the rolling down the cheek kind. We spoke about how my rape has affected me and my family, my uncertainty in religion, and the pain I feel inside that he never was never charged because of the lack of evidence. My counselor cound relate to alot of what I was saying because she was a victim in her early days, and she says that the anger and the need to explode will fade once I get the help.
It has been a few hours since all of this has gone on, my anxiety level has gone down because my brother apologized and time has passed. I plan on taking a bath a bit later, and then will try for an early night. I don't know if I am going to school tomorrow, but I will make a call to the school counselor.
Thank you so much for all of your support, I hope you realize how your words have helped.
Kristina
Signatures On
| Mon, 01-15-2007 - 11:17pm |
(((Kristina))) It was not the best of days for you. There were some positives. You worked things out with your db. You were able to cry which is a great tension reducer & for women a great way to heal from what has happened in the past. Tomorrow is a brand new day. You are allowed to write your own script. We cannot control what happens to us. We do have the power to decide how much we'll allow what happens to affect us. GL&GBU! jan


