New to anxiety, depression & this board

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
New to anxiety, depression & this board
6
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 1:24pm

Hi everyone...like I said above, I'm new to having anxiety, depression and this message board. I'm so glad I found you all though. I read many of the posts and already feel like I'm not alone going through this time of my life. A little about myself...I'm 30, divorced (my choice), and for the first time really ever am allowing myself to really discover myself and face some issues I've buried all these years. I have been seeing a psychologist for a couple of months now and was put on Sarafem, basically Prozac, by my Gyno. b/c I developed horrible PMS syptoms (irrational thoughts, feelings of wanting to throw everything in my life away-not suicide but hopelessness, even ending the relationship with the person I'm dating b/c I didn't want to drag him down with me). For a while I felt much better with the medication, not as sad, not hopeless, not lonely, but now I'm feeling those things at times but more anxiety. For brief periods of time every day, I feel like I can't breathe, my chest gets tight, I feel like I'm trapped in my own body and want out, I feel so incredibly sad and like nothing will ever get better, I feel sick to my stomach...my doctor told me those are panic attacks, who knew??!! I certainly did not. Depression / anxiety runs rampant in one side of my family and I guess all these years I've said "no that won't be me, I won't allow it, those are self-inflicted, I can stop it." Um, yeah that's not really the case. :) What prompted me to finally look for an on-line support group is that I had a panic episode here at my desk at work about 20 minutes ago. I calmed myself down and also grabbed some lunch. I realized part of it was that I haven't eaten much. I lose my appetite, and have lots about 11 lbs since November, and I'm small anyway and love to eat but never want to or just get too lazy and don't even want to microwave soup for myself. Then I just don't eat and feel physically worse. It's a vicious cycle. I've never been totally on my own before and am used to always having someone around to confide in constantly. Now I am forced to deal with my problems head on and then choose if I want to call someone and ask for help or vent. I'm proud of myself for working through things more by myself but it's hard and causes great anxiety. Now, I'm just trying to figure out where it's coming from or what may trigger it. My psycologist scheduled me to start seeing a psychiatrist to change my meds b/c of the increased panic symptoms. What meds have you all taken or take that help? Oh, another feeling I often get is just being simply overwhelmed and the "deer in headlights" feeling of not knowing what to do so I just do nothing and that's when the depression aspect is evident; I just don't do anything and hope it passes. I don't like that feeling either. I was an active, vibrant person and now I feel so weak and unsure of myself. Any words of wisdom or "I've been there / am there" replies are welcome!!

Thanks for "listening."

KW

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 4:59pm

Welcome to our caring community, KW! It's nice to see you here;) Please bookmark us to your favorites. We'd like to be your new home!


I am glad you're feeling better by reading what others post. That's exactly how I felt when I came to this board. I thought my panic attack symptoms were some rare & fatal illness & the doctor's were lying to me. I had alot of breathing troubles & even thought my racing

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:09pm

Welcome KW,

I have generalized anxiety and can relate to a lot of the symptoms that you described. I'm not on meds, but have been in talk therapy for a few months and it seems to help a lot. Most of the time when my anxiety is really high, I have to just try to find "my own space", preferably a quiet moment by myself, but sometimes it has to be just mental spacing out for a few minutes ;) There are coping tips posted on the board here that are really good.

The support I've found here has been really great for me, there are some great people, so I hope to see you around the board. Have you been to Chat? There should be one tonight starting at 9PM EST.

Smiles,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:28pm
I know exactly how you're feeling. I feel the same way. I feel so alone. I am 40, married to a great husband and have two small children. Best of luck to you. Email me if you would like sometime. I could use a friend dealing with same problems. sherilljoy@sbcglobal.net
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:39pm

Hello KW,

I too just found this board about a month ago and it has been very helpful. I am about nine years younger than you, but I can totally relate to every single thing you have described. Anxiety/panic/depression runs on my father's side of the family and about four of my six siblings suffer from it. Some worse than others. I have been suffering with it off and on since I was about 16 yo. Right now it is the hardest it has ever been for me and I recently started taking fluoxetine (prozac) about a month ago. Things do seem to slowly be looking up, some days are much better than others, but I usually experience a panic attack atleast once a day. Sometimes even up to four times a day and it's horrible. Right now I am struggling with living me life in fear. I have all these irrational feelings about "what if" or "what could happen". I think I'm just fearful of experiencing some of the crappy things I have gone through in the past. I just want to not ever go through those things again and I am so scared I will, but by my fears I am creating the situations again and causing myself to go through it again. It's like a cycle, but i'm trying my hardest to work on it. It's so self defeating to always be afraid of what might happen, I'm making it tough for myself to just enjoy the here and now. I always need to remind myself to take it one day at a time. Meditation, breathing, and excersise help a lot even though at times it's tough to motivate myself. Just know that what your feeling, your not alone. Hope to hear from you again soon.

Avatar for peoplearenuts
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 10:05pm

Welcome! Hey it's too bad we all suffer from this, but we are always glad to help each other out. It really is helpful to know that you aren't alone. I have a coworker who suffers from anxiety too and she was great when I first came down with it - she always says that someone who hasn't been through it can never understand.

While it is "all in our heads" the pain is so real isn't it?

I'm on Lexapro (anti depressant) and I take Klonopin at night (a tranquilizer) to help me sleep. I got wicked insomnia when I first came down with this so the meds have helped immensely. I also see a therapist, and a psychiatrist for my meds. It was pretty overwhelming at first.

Exercise and diet are important. If you really feel like you can't eat, try drinking Carnation instant breakfast to get those calories in. The exercise helps get your endorphins going and works out some of the anxiety.

I could go on and on. Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 5:26pm

Hi KW, I am hypoglycemic & I find that if I do not take extra care & eat throughout the day, that my hypoglycemic symptoms are often mistaken for anxiety & even panic.

Sheri Ann