Vent about BIL's big mouth
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| Thu, 01-18-2007 - 6:27pm |
Alright, I've been busy, but generally it's been moderate level anxiety the last few weeks with just a few spikes. Well most of those spikes have been from BIL spouting off and dumping his issues on DH...which makes DH upset and makes me very frustrated and not liking BIL very much.
I'm been discussing boundries with my *T and I feel like BIL is stomping all over DH's boundries, but for me to do what I want to do, which is call up BIL and tell him to butt out would also be stepping over DH's boundries. Arghhh!
This all ties in of course with a bigger issue of toxic family members (in-laws) that DH and I have been stepping back from, so now BIL in trying to suck DH and our family back in.
My heart rate, breathing and wired anxious feelings start up whenever I think about it. I feel like I can't interfere too much, but this does affect the whole family too :(
I've started worrying about this alot and every time BIL calls it gets worse. He used to call just once a month, but recently is calling like every week. I think he is under pressure from the rest of the family and venting or passing the guilt trips onto DH.
If it gets alot worse, I know I'm going to just lose it and call him one of these days and say things I might regret. (Well I wouldn't regret them, but DH might)
Days like this I want to just move out of state and unlist the phone.
Thanks for letting me vent!
grrrr,
Dee

Vent all you want Dee, I think it must be very clensing! I need to try it a little more often and maybe I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed ;)
It can be so difficult to deal with family members, especially in-laws. Try to take care of yourself too....Lisa
Thanks Lisa!
At least we don't live close...the aggravation is mainly limited to phone calls. LOL
Smiles,
Dee
Good heavens! This sounds so frustrating, Dee. No wonder you're worried about losing it. I do feel it's dh's decision to set limits. However, I might just give BIL a call when I was calm & tell him that any sort of aggravation, stress, drama or whatever(as my dd would say) is not good for dh's health. OMG! Is he a totally insensitive lout??? Sending T&P's your way. (((hugs))) jan
(((Dee))) Family problems are the worse!
Sheri Ann
Hi Sheri Ann,
Thanks, I will wait for a "calm" time and talk with DH ;)
Smiles,
Dee
I may do that! DH is the one who usually answers all the calls. I'm not much for talking on the phone anyway, but a machine to screen would help. Currently our answering service is online, so we don't get that bonus feature. ;)
Thanks,
Dorothy
Thanks Jan,
That may be what I need to do.
Smiles,
Dee