family support?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
family support?
22
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 12:43pm
Hey everyone...I have been @ war with my anxiety since I was a teenager, and just really expressed to my family just how bad it is. I worry 24/7, can't sleep, avoid social situations because when I am nervous I shake really really bad and it has taken over my life. It's so over-whelming, and it is hard to talk to anyone in my family because they don't understand. I have been told that " It's all in your head " and that hurts. My family means the world to me and they have always been there for me, no matter what. It just seems that they don't know how to approach my situation. Any advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 2:03pm

Hi, Mandi! Welcome to our supportive community. You are NOT alone. Research indicates from my readings that support from friends & family directly impact our recovery. If you're in therapy, it's certainly acceptable to work out a plan to have significant family members attend a session for informational purposes or perhaps your *t* will suggest articles that would be helpful.


For now, I am sorry to hear that support is lacking. That is the story of many folks coming to our board. I guess in our small way, we try to educate others that this is a very REAL illness. We are a product of our chemical make-up & experiences. There is help & hope for anxiety disorders. We cannot control how we feel, but we can control how much or how little we will allow our anxiety to affect us.


Please take a look @ our *coping tips & tricks* folder below. I use belly breathing, meditation & positive affirmations to get me through attacks. Avoiding social situations is common, so you will find ways in that folder to help build your confidence. It takes time, but if you're motivated, you can face the fear using a small step approach.


We do care about you. Join us in chats. Don't be a stranger. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 2:57pm

I too have been at war with my anxiety since a teen. I have also had some very important people in my life say those exact words to me... "it's all in your head" or "your being a drama queen" or "your making a big deal out of nothing" etc. etc. etc.

My family understands because about half of them suffer, but I had very close friends and boyfriends who didn't understand and thought I was making it up. All I could do was tell them that if they care about how i'm feeling and if they want to understand then I suggest they research it. I don't know get on the internet, get a book whatever. I just wanted them to know that it truly is a disorder that many many people suffer from.

You are not alone! I have only been to the board a few months and I can tell you that everyone here is nothing but supportive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 2:59pm
Nice to meet you...For the first time in my life I feel comfortable talking about my anxiety. I have been dealing with this for about ten years now.( in different doses) Discussing it with a person that does acknowledge that anxiety is indeed REAL makes it so much easier. I feel like my family just doesn't understand, except my Mom. She doesn't understand but is there for me and is willing to help in any way.
I am in the process of scheduling my first meeting with my therapist. I am ready to beat this and live my life the way I want. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. I will be sure to check out the "tips" page.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 3:17pm
Nice to meet you.... I am new at this message board thing. To be honest I didn't anything like this existed, for anxiety I mean.
My boyfriend reacted in the same way! And he is the sweetest too, which I figured of all people he wouldnt have reacted like that. It was then that I totally stopped talking to him about it. We did discuss it the other day, and I think I got thru to him. Even just a little bit, it's a start.
My sister suffers from anxiety but nothing as serious as mine. All she has to do is calm herself down, if only it were that easy. So, she doesn't understand why I can't. And my Dad, he had anxiety but tells me to pray, because it helped him beat his anxiety.
My Mom, she's the best! She doesn't understand but is there to offer any support and any help.
I really like being able to talk about this... never have discussed it with really anyone.
I don't feel so powerless anymore. Your words are very comforting....thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 4:05pm

I totally understand where you are coming from...there are alot of people in my family who are the same way, and the reason why they are like that is probably because they don't understand, and it is SOOO frusterating, but you need to concentrate on getting YOU better and I know that it is hard, especially when it is your family and they are supposed to support you no matter what, but it's going to make it worse for you if you let them get to you. Trust me, this is one thing I am dealing with right now...I have a handful of people who understand and are supportive out of my whole family and my husbands family...I wish i had better advice, but right now you need to surround yourself with people who do love and support you and can take your mind off of it, and I have also told every person i have sent a message to on here...get your thyroid and adrenal glands checked by either your medical doctor OR a naturopath doctor (whom i have, and she is wonderful) because any kind of imbalance in there can cause problems like this, and I have adrenal and thyroid problems which contributes alot, and there are things they can do for it so you can feel better...i prefer naturopaths because they tend to know alot about nutrition and supplementation and whatnot, and tend to be more apt to listen to you about what you think is going on with your body. But the support thing is hard, probably one of the hardest parts, and you might try sitting down and telling them hey, even if you don't understand it, I still need support and love to get me through this, and that you are scared and confused too, and keep them updated on what is going on...that is what I have done...i email and let people know when the doctors have found something and what is going on, and if they really love and care, they will be there no matter what....you will find who you can go to and who you cant. Keep me updated on this, because I do know what you are going through, but you are NOT alone, and you are NOT "crazy"...people who dont go through it have no idea how hard it is, but know there are people like me and others here who do and will lend you all the support you need :) Lots of love and hugs and God Bless...

Krista

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 9:59am

Krista,

Nice to meet you...let me tell you that the support that just a few people on this message board (including yourself) have given me is more support than I have ever had. Dealing with this is so frustrating because I have such a great family and boyfriend and I feel like this is the first time I can't go to them to talk or vent. I feel like they look at me, not necessarily judge me, but like in their heads they are saying " yeah, yeah, you are just over-reacting." And I am fearful that they discuss me behind my backs, I don't think they would do that, but people surprise me everyday. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to over-come in my life.I will ask my dr. about the health advice you mentioned. At times, I feel like running outside and just screaming at the top of my lungs! Like that would make it all just go away. It is so hard knowing that you have so much to offer and having so much you want to do ,but this stands in your way like a neverending brick wall. I pray everyday that I will wake up and it will just be gone... Your words are inspiring as well as comforting. Thank you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 3:06pm

hi there,


i have no great advice, but wanted to say hi and offer my support.


i can relate to what you are going through w/your family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 9:08pm

You are most welcome...and my email is LittleOne0916@aol.com if you ever need to talk or anything...I had a rough day today myself I will admit to you that my anxiety came from having severe allergic reactions to chemicals in foods I was eating, and it took me awhile to figure that out, so I was really sick for a few months and now my anxiety is I am going to get sick all the time and it has been really hard to eat food...im scared to try new things and whatnot, and have a slight eating disorder now because of it...and you are right...its the hardest thing to do...so I understand alot so feel free to email me or im me anytime...have a good weekend and keep me updated!!! lots of hugs and comfort...

Krista

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 11:24am

You previously wrote:

 

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 5:38pm

I'm glad you found us!

Sheri Ann

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