update/ not good

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
update/ not good
11
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 10:52pm

Well I think my partner has finally handled all she can of me and my family. I'll probably be leaving her if my disability ever comes through. She's beginning to treat me as bad as the last man i was with. I'm at a total loss as to what to do. Would just like to crawl into a hole cover myself up and never leave it. I need to get myself out of this funk before something really bad happens to me and unfortunatly it will be at my own hands. Can't do that now though my DD and grandbabies love and need me i need to stay here with them and try to hold my strength together. plus i just got some new books i haven't read yet. would hate to leave without knowing whether they were worth reading or not LOL.

Keitha

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: kywomyn
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 11:06pm

This has been very unsettling for you, Keitha. It concerns me that thoughts of being out of the picture are still present. In spite of the problems with your *t* I think you should inform him of these thoughts.


Having been in a bad relationship, I know what it's like to be beaten down on a daily basis. I began to buy into the idea that I really was *the good for nothing* he called me everyday. It is hard to separate yourself from these thoughts. It takes alot of positive self-talk to overcome all the negativity. You need to keep yourself first & safe!


Hang on tight to the grandsons & your dd to give your important life more meaning & purpose. Live in the present. Keep reading those books as your goal & don't look back. I am sending P&PT's your way. (((hugs))) jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
In reply to: kywomyn
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 12:45am
{{{KEITHA}}}}
        
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: kywomyn
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 7:30am

Oh Keitha I'm so sorry to see you're struggling so much!

The thoughts about no longer being around are bound to be disturbing, and I agree with Jan, even though you're having problems with the professionals in your life, I think it's a good idea to tell them. Who knows, maybe it'll give them a kick up the backside and get them actually HELPING you? I have had those thoughts, and they're very very frightening (at least when I'm ok enough to be frightened by them!). Please hang on to the thoughts of your DD and your grandsons, and keep a good pile of books to read so you have motivation to keep going! It's hard, but it's doable!

A relationship breakup is always going to be upsetting, even when (perhaps even especially when) it's for all the right reasons you're doing it. Having just recently (Sept) ended an unhealthy one myself, I know how difficult that can be!

Keitha, you can always email me through my profile if you want to chat. I really enjoyed talking to you last week in chat, you're a special woman, even if you don't always feel it right now.

Hugs,

Chris

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
In reply to: kywomyn
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 2:54pm

(((Keitha)))

I am so sorry things are not going well for you, relationships can be very hard at times and I hope that you are able to make the right choices concerning yours. When you feel *stuck* it seems to make things feel even worse than they are.

As far as crawling in a *hole* I think I can help you out there ;) Take those books you want to read, a warm blanket, a cup of tea or cocoa, and find a quiet spot. Make that little spot a sanctuary and loose yourself in the pages of those books, visit someplace safe for a while and relax. That is what I do and it helps me relax a little and think about something other than all the difficulties going on around me. It gives me a mini-vacation of sorts.

Hugs,
Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
In reply to: kywomyn
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 3:12pm

i'm sorry to hear this keitha:(


please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers.


keep us psoted on how you are doing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
In reply to: kywomyn
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 5:31pm
KEITHA I AM COUNTING ON YOU to feel better!!! HUGS!! Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
In reply to: kywomyn
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 11:53pm
Oh, Keitha, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time right now. You've got a lot to deal with at the moment, but remember to take care of you, too. Indulge yourself a little with your mustang and your books. It's going to get better. (((Hugs))) Lots of prayers and PTs on the way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: kywomyn
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 7:49pm

I'm happy you are keeping your sense of humor in all of this Keitha ;)

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
In reply to: kywomyn
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 11:43am

(((Keitha)))

Sorry this is a bit late, I haven't been on the board this past week. I'm glad you have your DD and your boys to hold onto and I hope your partner wakes up and realizes how hurtful her behavior is.

Hugs,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
In reply to: kywomyn
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 1:56pm

Thank all you ladies for your support. My partner is getting it together and has started taking her ativan again which is helping alot. Now if I can get her to continue to take it I think we'll be able to work things out.

Keitha

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